Off to visit my brother in Oklahoma today. No, not nearly as wild as the Wilds of Ohio, but it will do.
Sitting in the Chicago airport, waiting on my connecting flight. I admit to not being as seasoned (paprika or curry, please) a traveler as others. Should have brought my laptop, but didn’t. So I was lowered to writing a post with some arcane literary weaponry known as “pen and paper”. Thank goodness i was able to bully invite my way onto my brother’s internet for this quick post.
So, sans laptop (didn’t know I was bilingual, huh? yeah, i can speak in tongues, but that’s another post), i wrote furiously (but did calm down soon). Tiring of that, i engaged in a favored airport practice. Too shy to chat up a stranger, I revert to ‘lurking’ of a different sort and just people watch.
Where else can you find such a broad specturm of people willfully sharing space when, in the ‘real’ world, they would never want to mingle—Bikers and Bookworms; Sk8ers and Soccer Moms; Rednecks and Hippies; the brutally pretty and the terminally homely; Businessmen and Sluts… wait… well, yeah, okay, that last one doesn’t count because they mingle all the time…
Yes, i indulge in the standard thoughts of “Who dressed you this morning? Helen Keller?” or “Whoa, but she’s hot…would love to tap that!”. But i also play a few other games – –
– Make eye contact and smile, just to see the reaction. I’m still at a loss as to why so many people avert their eyes as if i’m some perverted menace… well, i am, but that’s besides the point. Too few return the smile. A couple nodded and said “Hi.”, but not enough. Where did our humanity go?
– Name the faces… along the same lines as the ‘standard’ thoughts above, but trying to match up to the facial expressions:
— “It looks like someone stole your cupcake”
— “No, you’re not remotely as gorgeous/handsome as you’re convinced you are”
— “You got laid last night, didn’t you?”
— “No, I don’t believe you do have a clue. Thanks for trying, though.”
These are all great games until i notice, while walking to my gate or for a bathroom break, i’m being given the same appraising looks by others. They’re playing my games, the bastards!
Sheesh, i hope i look like i got laid last night…
Tags: airports, games, people watching, travel
The Wilds of Ohio 
May 23, 2008 at 23:40 |
I guess I’m a “seasoned” enough traveller (and anal-retentive enough) that I generally have enough entertainment on hand to get me through the obligatory “waits” at the airport, whether that be books, iPod or movies to watch on my notebook. (I once played Starcraft for an entire flight.)
With sufficient entertainment, I rarely feel compelled to play games such as yours, although I can and have done it. It’s more fun to fabricate a conversation between others when you’re with someone who can listen to your fiction, though. (All good comedy needs an audience, eh?)
Enjoy Oklahoma. I’ve spent a bit of time around NE OK from back when I lived just across the state line in SE Kansas. They call it “green country”. Which, I suppose, is more alluring than “tornado alley”.
🙂
May 24, 2008 at 07:21 |
*snigger*
May 24, 2008 at 07:46 |
i like your “naming” game – may try that sometime. maybe we should write a book – or easier yet, put together a collective page – on airport survival tactics.
during one particularly bad airport experience – dulles was shut down due to weather – i was in a crowded bar, having scored a seat close to alcohol, as thirsty, cranky – and at least one horny – travelers pushed in. To get the horny one to leave me alone, i opened the bag of gummy worms i’d bought for the kids, started eating them baby-bird style, and washing it down with beer. made quiet little ‘chirp’ sounds too, but don’t think he heard those. i was alone in a few minutes…
acting crazy. it’s a gift….
May 24, 2008 at 22:56 |
Rob – think i prefer to have electronic toys with me. Starcraft for an entire flight? You have great batteries…
Parenthesis – *chortle*
daisyfae – yep, i think a collective page would be fun. And i loved the baby bird routine. Classic daisyfae. But, daisyfae…”acting” crazy? Please… *wink*
May 25, 2008 at 14:35 |
@ Gnu > excellent ideas. I clearly need to stop using airport time to read and experiment more!
@ Dais > Whahahahaha
May 25, 2008 at 16:58 |
hey daisyfae that “acting crazy” thing works a treat if you’re trying to get out of jury duty too
May 25, 2008 at 18:19 |
Because I always have Friday with me when I travel, I usually have myriad kids coming up to me wanting to pet her. Fortunately, she just loves that kind of attention, and is insufferable for a week after we get home. I would prefer to read my book, not being rich enough to have a laptop.
May 25, 2008 at 21:10 |
Yo yo yo airplane fliers! When I travel, I’ve usually put together some crazy connecting flight without actually paying attention to the fact that I have only 15 minutes to get completely across the airport in Houston. So instead of waiting, I’m usually frantically running down the people-mover, with far too many bags in tow, wondering if people are really looking at me like I’m crazy or if that’s just lack of oxygen from the running. . . .
May 25, 2008 at 21:31 |
I have no trouble barricading myself off from the hordes with a laptop or legal pad and writing (and people around you find this much more disturbing if you look up and stare in their direction for a while in between furious writing activity), a newspaper (which I only share with my husband – the unwashed can get one of their own) or a book. I find the actual time in the air (or trapped on the runway) the worst.
I am a terrible air traveler though. I hate being at the mercy of lower life forms.
May 25, 2008 at 23:16 |
silverstar – a furry friend would, indeed, be a boon to flying.
stankette – Welcome to the Wilds, Lady. Mosey a bit on the range with me. And, yes, i am one of those people looking at you like you’re crazy. But well familiar with the fire drill of getting to the too far gate in too little time.
anniegirl – yeah, i got that too…writing furiously, then looking up in thought, only to scare the little children and some adults around you doing so. “Lower life forms”? Pilots? :->
May 26, 2008 at 00:15 |
uh oh – looks like you’ve picked up a pesky “stank” infestation! good luck! clears up best with a nice Riesling 🙂