Meeting Survival, Part 37

While one of you is pretending to work in an exotic locale (you know who you are), I was condemned to the hell of enjoying a lively training session with one of the teams that I consult.  The trainers, hired in from a university, theoretically had a ‘better’ way of doing business.  Our bosses were convinced that this was true and forced us to attend.

It quickly became apparent that these trainers had nothing really new to say.  That, coupled with the team leader’s propensity to ramble endlessly, enjoying the sound of his own voice, led me to start to wander off in my mind (yes, a short and dangerous trip, that).  Yes, I was brought back occasionally to retort when the trainers or the resident narcissist team leader said something stupid or, more often, blatantly apparent to all of us.  I felt I needed to defend the team, saying that we, indeed, did do our job correctly, so get off our fucking backs thankyewverymuch!  I also learned that my attempts at defense were doing nothing but prolonging the agony of the meeting.

Sitting next to me was the deputy adjacent assistant team leader…one of the more functional people on the team.  I felt I needed to share my pain with her, as I knew she was in pain as well.

First, I had to share one of my scribblings in my organizer – –

Slammed solid to the bottom

After one of my wasted attempts at defending the team, I also recalled a helpful piece of advice that I’d given myself in other interminable meetings.  That advice to myself?

Saved me in many a meeting

That simple message to myself has saved me much anxiety.  The less I talk, the less I get frustrated by the lunacy.  To emphasize that point to myself in this meeting, I then took to doodling in the class a subtly gentle reminder to myself – –

A calligrapher I am not...

My cohort next to me obviously was not feeling the pain and felt the meeting was going well, as she doodled the following – –

Okay, it did make me smile...for a moment

But, the inexorable pressure of listening to the drivel of the team leader and the trainers, finally – –

Hints of lunacy...

[sniffle]  It really gets to you… my little cohort is all meeting-grown up!

Two days left to suffer through…

Tags: cohorts in meetings, like pulling teeth, shut up, survival tips