Meeting Survival, Part 37

While one of you is pretending to work in an exotic locale (you know who you are), I was condemned to the hell of enjoying a lively training session with one of the teams that I consult.  The trainers, hired in from a university, theoretically had a ‘better’ way of doing business.  Our bosses were convinced that this was true and forced us to attend.

It quickly became apparent that these trainers had nothing really new to say.  That, coupled with the team leader’s propensity to ramble endlessly, enjoying the sound of his own voice, led me to start to wander off in my mind (yes, a short and dangerous trip, that).  Yes, I was brought back occasionally to retort when the trainers or the resident narcissist team leader said something stupid or, more often, blatantly apparent to all of us.  I felt I needed to defend the team, saying that we, indeed, did do our job correctly, so get off our fucking backs thankyewverymuch!  I also learned that my attempts at defense were doing nothing but prolonging the agony of the meeting.

Sitting next to me was the deputy adjacent assistant team leader…one of the more functional people on the team.  I felt I needed to share my pain with her, as I knew she was in pain as well.

First, I had to share one of my scribblings in my organizer – –

Slammed solid to the bottom

After one of my wasted attempts at defending the team, I also recalled a helpful piece of advice that I’d given myself in other interminable meetings.  That advice to myself?

Saved me in many a meeting

That simple message to myself has saved me much anxiety.  The less I talk, the less I get frustrated by the lunacy.  To emphasize that point to myself in this meeting, I then took to doodling in the class a subtly gentle reminder to myself – –

A calligrapher I am not...

My cohort next to me obviously was not feeling the pain and felt the meeting was going well, as she doodled the following – –

Okay, it did make me smile...for a moment

But, the inexorable pressure of listening to the drivel of the team leader and the trainers, finally – –

Hints of lunacy...

[sniffle]  It really gets to you… my little cohort is all meeting-grown up!

Two days left to suffer through…

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9 Responses to “Meeting Survival, Part 37”

  1. daisyfae Says:

    me? you talkin’ to ME? i see you’ve got a li’l buddy. Seems The Skipper now has his Gilligan. The next two days will be easier because of it…

  2. Mitzi G Burger Says:

    How nauseating. I hope they didn’t make you do role-plays.

  3. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    When I rule the world, in-house training will be run in two part.
    1) Work harder
    2) Who wants a doughnut?

  4. hisqueen Says:

    Aaarrrggghhh….I so do not miss those meetings..

  5. S. Le Says:

    Gosh, I hate meaningless meetings! What a load of crap and waste of my time! I like how SMILE became SHUT UP.

  6. Dennis the Vizsla Says:

    I hope there were at least donuts.

  7. Lynn Says:

    okay cowboy, this may not be a good time to tell you that the weather at the beach was beautiful today. i’ll check in with you tomorrow!

  8. thegnukid Says:

    daisyfae – yeah, i’m talkin’ to you… wanna make somethin’ of it, tough girl? Skipper/Gilligan? think it was the other way around.

    mitzi – no role plays, though i could’ve had some fun with that–Silence of the Lambs or Night of the Living Dead or some such.

    stephanie – i bow at your altar of world dominance and offer my minionhood

    hisqueen – do they still haunt you though? my only hope is that it’ll fade from my memory

    s. le – well, someone thought they had meaning. just didn’t consult me first.

    dennis – no, that was the tragedy of it. and we had to bring in our own coffee as well… the bastards

    lynn – aw, crap! and here i was stuck in a room without even windows. ah, well, i can dream…

  9. Rob Says:

    In long interminable meeting situations, I strive to be witty. Or insulting. Or insultingly witty. Whatever.

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