Day 2 and 3 of the meeting are now over.
My cohort, who helped preserve my sanity (please, forgive the exaggeration) on that first day, made a wise decision. She walked into her boss’ office and said, “If I have to sit through one more day of that useless tripe, I will end up bitching someone out after bitch slapping them.” Her boss, just as wisely, said, “No problem, skip the rest of the meeting.”
Which begs the question, “Why isn’t GnuKid just as wise and bailing out on the class?”
“Good question,” I retort (having not torted in the first place, but still…).
My job requires that I get so many hours of training each year. If I don’t get that many hours, I could be smacked around by those job people who do such smacking when called for. I am woefully short of training hours, so this class is necessary if I’m to meet my goal.
So, cohort-less, I faced the last two days alone (well, except for a few well timed and needed text messages from Dear Friend).
Not too far into Day 2 of the class, I again found myself wishing to rise up and proclaim “BULLSHIT!”. But, knowing that would only create more opportunities for me to talk and participate, scribbled furiously in my notebook my standard cautionary message – –
Words to live by...
You may notice a few doodles off to the side. I started doodling more, just for mental self preservation.
Now, I never was good at drawing. Art was something that just never clicked in my brain. I can visualize what I want a picture to look like, but it never does in reality. So, forgive the crudeness of these and just consider them a glimpse into my mind.
First came just some random scenery…
Busy hands means I keep quiet and sane
This was followed by my mind randomly firing neurons in obtuse places – –
really...i have no clue
Then I started hearing catch phrases thrown out by the instructors and started doodling whatever popped in my head there. Here are a few examples of what came out…
“The elephant in the room”
what's with the tail?
“Bow Wave”
Ship name stolen from a cartoon I once saw
“Chomping at the bit”
sometimes a drill bit is just a drill bit
“No perfect matches”
I need professional help
and “Getting over the hump”
yes, that's supposed to be a camel.
I survived the class. It’s done. My brain is still semi-intact, thanks to these diversionary tactics.
Hmmm… I recall doing this many years ago. Maybe I should scan a couple of those in and share here?
Tags: doodling for sanity sake, drawing is not a second career option, one escapee, the madness continues
The Wilds of Ohio 
April 1, 2010 at 01:43 |
Fantastic to hear the brain is still intact so that you are able to blog continuously and humorously for our reading pleasure. I also loathe those conferency faux-learning sessions that rate highly on the tripeometer. They do however have that bizarre effect of making you look good for future and current employers.
April 1, 2010 at 05:22 |
your cats, er….. um…. “qats” are pretty good. maybe develop a cartoon series based on ‘bored meeting qat gets into trouble’….
April 1, 2010 at 06:39 |
That was one long damn meeting or you’re a fast drawer. Love the Phountin and Qats also. The camel isn’t too bad either. This will teach you to wait till the last minute to get your meeting requirements in.
April 1, 2010 at 07:52 |
I want to draw farts coming out of the elephants butt.
Also, may I recommend “buzzword bingo” for your next mandated training? Make a charge with words you know will be said (“synergy”, “effort”, “team work”, “restraints”, “safe word”, “BANANA!”) and if you get 5-in-a-line, you get to treat yourself to something.
We used to make a list of words (“smurf” was one) and incorporate them into meetings. If we got all 15 words in, we went to the bar for lunch.
Glad your training is done as I’m sure the smackdown people are itching for, well, a smackdown.
April 1, 2010 at 19:10 |
You misspelled elefant
April 2, 2010 at 06:31 |
hey gnukid! you have some artistic talent there to go along with that great sense of humor! i used to doodle a lot in school but i think it was like a ocd thing, i’m not sure. i would completely cover my entire notebook (front and back covers inside and out) with teeney tiny little circles leaving no area blank….is that normal?
glad you made it out alive..oh that ship’s name cracked me up, had to be a bugs bunny cartoon no?
April 3, 2010 at 07:09 |
Hi Gnukid, that art is better than some of the rubbish so called artists put in some galleries I’ve been to. Keep up the good work
April 3, 2010 at 07:28 |
Mitzi – well, the brain being ‘intact’ is a big presumption. but, yes, i did survive. you do what you have to do.
daisyfae – ha! there’d be plenty of material, that’s for sure. and, i should have given props — the spelling ‘qat’ is from the cartoonist Kliban…
hisqueen – i wonder if i slowed down if i could actually draw ‘coherently’. ah, well.
stephanie – yes, please! progressive, cooperative art sounds like a wonderful idea. and where i work? buzzword bingo would be done in a half hour…what to do with the rest of the day?
nursemyra – damn, caught me! i’ll have to make it up to you. how, oh how, can i do that?
lynn – mine may be a bit ocd-ish as well. as to whether you’re ‘normal’? sorry, beautiful, but think that ship sailed. and speaking of, i think the ship name came from Gary Larson (Far Side).
Tony – welcome to The Wilds. ride the range with us awhile. and thank you very much for the props. you’ve inspired me to post some of the others i’ve done.
April 4, 2010 at 11:18 |
okay what are you really tring to say? alhtough the beautiful remark was a nice touch! (wink)
April 6, 2010 at 19:17 |
Qat, also spelled khat, is an herb from the Arabian peninsula that has effects similar to amphetamines. As anyone who plays Scrabble, and get stuck with a Q without a U knows. Personally, I had those kinds of meetings, too. Nowadays, I would just knit through them. Back in the day, however, it was a literal pain in my ass.