Shifting Relationship

If you have children, you will never… ever… cease being a parent.  That’s not to say that you have to continually treat your offspring as a child, but there will always be a feeling that you must protect and support your kids.  And, yes, I fully realize that there are some parents out there who feel their parental duties cease the moment their child turns 18.  Or even a 12-sigma minority who feel it ceases at birth…or even conception from some men.  But for the majority of us, always a parent.

My kids have had several opportunities to prove this point.  But I’ve noticed a subtle shift.  A shift which is touching.

Case in point. 

Boy Child is a contributing member of society, adult in all senses of the word.  But, still human.  And subject to human frailties and life events. 

He’s dating.  Or attempting to.  He dates some people he’s met through work, as well as a couple he’s met on-line.  A recent date?  One of his good friends for quite awhile.  He’s told me that they really like each other as friends, but never crossed the line to ‘dating’. 

That changed recently, as evidenced by a text message from The Boy:

“Fuck!!”

Parent mode kicks in and an immediate text back to him, asking what’s going on.

Seems he finally crossed the line with his longtime friend and found himself “making out” with her.  The problem?  His friend is still with her current partner.  Yes, they’re on the last legs of that relationship, but they’re still together.  Boy Child is very sensitive to the potential for problems with this.  His next text to me affirmed his feeling that:

“…it’s gonna be a drama apocalypse…”

(and a nice turn-of-phrase, that).

As a parent, I want to help.  As a parent, though, I know he’s an adult and must deal with this.  So, I offer support, an ear, a shoulder, a few kind words, and affirmation of him being a good man. 

But the ‘dad’ in me still aches for him.

And the ‘dad’ in me feels damn good that he feels he can come to me, openly and honestly, with this.

I think I did good raising that pup…

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10 Responses to “Shifting Relationship”

  1. Rob Says:

    Indeed, gnukid, indeed.

  2. Dennis the Vizsla Says:

    I like that. I think I will concatenate it into the single word “dramapocalypse”. Hope it doesn’t come to that though!

  3. daisyfae Says:

    “dramapocalypse” – oh, yeah. he has to learn this lesson himself. no one can teach it to him… not that you’ve ever weathered a dramapocalypse of your own, right?

  4. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    I hear the DramaramaLllama makes appearances at dramapocalypses.
    Bring your shit storm sombrero.

    In all honestly though, at least he stopped (before making out turned into something more) before things could get more complex/complicated.

    Say you did a good job there Gnu.

  5. Mitzi G Burger Says:

    Minignukes will have to work this one out for himself, true. Well done, shoulder/ear-lender. Or, pass on this: are you a distraction or an attraction? Get her to be brave, stop prevaricating and end her declining relationship with minimal strife.

  6. thegnukid Says:

    rob – amazed that it happened, but very glad. i was such a rookie as a parent

    dennis – “dramapocalypse” … definitely stealing that one. and i think it will be fine. he’s just stressing at the moment.

    daisyfae – you mean in the past week? yeah, unfortunately, i’ve had quite my share of ‘dramapocalypses’ (dramapocalypsi?).

    stephanie – ooo, i like the dramaramallama! so cute and fluffy (but i hear he spits at you). impressed Boy Child overcame the hormones. not sure i could have (still could?) do so.

    mitzi – “minignukes”…stealing that one too [grin]. and, yes, distraction v. attraction may be a good way to frame the decision process.

  7. nursemyra Says:

    wise words from mitzi

  8. silverstar98121 Says:

    You get them raised, and then if you are (un)lucky, you get to parent your parents. Fun stuff. I think you did a good job with the pup.

    BTW, I’ve given you an award.

  9. daisyfae Says:

    @silverstar – and i yelled at him that he needs to post a response to your award… he’s being a reluctant crab…

  10. silverstar98121 Says:

    @ Daisy Fae Maybe I should look around for an Old Crab award to give him.

    Smewches, and no worries GnuGuy.

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