Brighter Glimmers

(N.B.:  This post was written under the influence of a very fine Irish Whiskey [Jameson’s]… this is on the advice of a very good friend who suggested my words would come easier if my mind was lubricated with libation).

I write this as a purge of my own experience of the events of yesterday, so I can better remember.  Also, I’m thinking someone somewhere may see this as being an example of hope in a similar situation they may be going through.

I hesitate to be hopeful myself, but find it difficult not to consider the glimmer of hope brightening for a more amicable settlement with The Wife.  This was based on an emotionally draining, but positive sit-down with her yesterday to see if we could actually negotiate who gets what.

Anticipating the meeting with fear of a very negative emotional event, I nonetheless decided to apply some of my training as a facilitator and approached the meeting from a systematic and logical perspective.  I started off stating my goals and objectives for the sit-down (and, no, the goal was not “GnuKid wants to keep from throttling you when you go off to inane conclusions about impossibilities”).

Actually, my first goal was to make her feel more comfortable that her financial state after the Divorce would not leave her scraping the worms off the sidewalk for her supper.  My second goal was that we could, as stated in an earlier post, avoid buying our lawyers new BMWs.

Discussions went fairly well, albeit with quite a few bumps.  I forced myself to fully listen to her questions without wanting to yell at her to grow a brain.  Fairly successful there, too.  At no time did I blurt out that she’s been a life sucking vampire draining me of happiness and joy in my life.  Aren’t you proud of me?

And the hopeful news was that was actually semi-agreeable to the concessions I made.  She repeated that this was all too confusing for her and she wanted to walk it by her lawyer (GnuKid’s blood runs cold and a bit of vomit rises in his throat).  But… for the moment… she seemed willing to negotiate.

At the end?  I thanked her for her patience in listening to me and being open about her fears and concerns.  She thanked me as well, then (admittedly a bit surprisingly to me) asked if it would be too uncomfortable for me to give her a hug.  Wow… of course, I did so.  There was hope…

…there IS hope…

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12 Responses to “Brighter Glimmers”

  1. kyknoord Says:

    There is always hope, but holding on to hope is a bit like trying to wield a sword without a hilt.

  2. daisyfae Says:

    This is great news! I’m so happy for you! Jameson’s is one of my favorites… oh, wait…

    Good news that the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs.Gnu seems willing to beat through the details. it may still be a bit of a roller coaster, and there will likely be more twists and turns than a ‘penned-for-TV’ Michael Crichton novel, but you’ll get there!

  3. The Unbearable Banishment Says:

    Don’t let the lawyers squash the hope and good will that the two of you have cultivated. I have always been deeply suspicious of the motives of lawyers and evangelicals.

  4. anniegirl1138 Says:

    That’s wonderful news.

    My mom has always been the same way about financial matters. No matter how often or simply my dad (and I tried a time or two myself) explained things to her – her head would start spinning.

    Hopefully her lawyer is an ethical person (don’t laugh – there are lawyers who are decent people. I know two personally who helped me for free or next to nothing during my late husband’s illness).

  5. Parenthesis Says:

    Ah, so sanity may yet prevail! Yay!
    [And yes, this is me, this time …. hee hee, MD is NOT impressed … ]

  6. thegnukid Says:

    kyknoord – then i won’t hold on to it… just flirt with hope… that way there’s no touching, but still the chance of a happy ending.

    daisyfae – i accept both of your congrats because (a) the Jameson WAS very good, (b) i like roller coasters, (c) there is no ‘c’, and (d) my agent called and said there’s interest in buying the rights to my story

    unbearable – worse would be evangelical lawyers… oh, crap, now you’ve got me worried that they actually are!

    annie – actually, knowing your mom was the same with money is a bit calming, thanks! and, even more surprisingly, i’m getting a warm fuzzy that both of our lawyers have a smidge of ethics!

    P – are you SURE it’s you? show me that tattoo on your upper thigh and that bite scar on your left breastage…

  7. leavingevangeline Says:

    I’m glad to hear you had a bit of positive communication with the ex! Hope things run smoothly from here on out.

    Fingers crossed for you!

  8. Parenthesis Says:

    Sure, sure 😉

  9. nursemyra Says:

    a hug is a good sign….

  10. Dolce Says:

    I’m fekkin’ impressed. Most people I know who do the “d”, end up in jail for (wo)manslaughter or homeless with stinky underpants. I think you’re doing bloody well, Gnu. Well done.

  11. thegnukid Says:

    leavingevangeline – cross other body parts as well… it may still be a bumpy ride!

    p – whew! i hear there are dopplegangers out there. had to make sure…

    nursemyra – i thought so as well. she was…is!…understandably angry about this, so this is good… moving on to the next stage of grieving, i hope

    dolce – thank you… it has not been easy on any of us. i have enjoyed this blog as a purge and a support network through this. i think that’s helped immensely.

  12. Hope Fades « The Wilds of Ohio Says:

    […] he had seen glimmers of hope after sitting down and talking with The Wife about a potential negotiated settlement to us […]

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