…the next verse of the popular song “Who Needs Soap Operas When You Have Life?”…
When last we left our hero…
…he had seen glimmers of hope after sitting down and talking with The Wife about a potential negotiated settlement to us splitting up. I had presented, thoughtfully and slowly, what I thought was a very fair settlement agreement. The Wife, also thoughtful, did not reject it outright and even seemed to be coming to grips that that may be a less-painful way forward than going to court.
Well, so much for that idea. The Wife got it in her mind that, if I die ‘early’*, she would be left—her words—‘destitute’. Wow. I tried to point out that her disability insurance plus her interest from her investments would put her earning not much less than the average American household… without even considering any alimony payments from me (which, yeah, would cease if I expire).
She remained unconvinced and continued to claim she’d be ‘destitute’. I, unfortunately, lost control of my temper and started shouting, peppering it with F-bombs. For those who don’t know GnuKid personally other than via the interweb, I don’t lose my temper, even when angry. But this. Pissed. Me. Off. “Destitute”? Give me a break.
It got so whatever I said to her to assure her she’d be just fine, it was as if I was shooting a pellet gun at a battleship… the BBs just bounce off the armor without penetrating a bit.
So, we both left the conversation saying that, “Well, it looks like we’ll have to let the courts decide.”
Crap. New Jaguars for the attorneys…
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
*My dad did die ‘early’… at 56 from a heart attack. As I pointed out to The Wife, though, he smoked like a chimney, had (un-medicated) cholesterol issues, and rarely (ever?) exercised. On the contrary, my dad’s brother is alive and healthy at 86 and pap-pap (dad’s dad) died at 80 only because a water heater fell on him and he caught pneumonia in hospital. For that matter (and I didn’t tell her this), my grandfather’s brother died about 88. So, unless she’s got nefarious plans for my early demise, I’m not planning on kicking off anytime soon. Actually, I’m hoping to bust well past 100. There’s just too much left to do.
The Wilds of Ohio 
September 15, 2008 at 20:11 |
She doesn’t know what destitute is. Try living on nothing but social security, no investments. Try living on the street or a homeless shelter. Never made the street, but made the shelter for 6 months. Pisses me off when obviously middle-class folks whine about destitution. Crap. Of course, with the banking crisis news today, perhaps she has much to fear. But guess what, you can survive. Sorry she’s being difficult, she’s only going to make it hard on herself.
September 15, 2008 at 20:46 |
I smell lawyer. Her attorney—hell, probably yours, too, for all you know—got under her skin and spooked her. Chalk another one up for the bottom feeders.
September 16, 2008 at 10:21 |
Ouch. I think she’s getting signals from the dog planet… Which may explain why my dog is watching tv all day. Must have a transmission snafu…
September 16, 2008 at 12:28 |
I see that trip – to Scotland was it, to taste whisky, receding into the far far future. *sigh*
September 16, 2008 at 14:10 |
I don’t know nuthin’ about nuthin’ when it comes to divorce (or marriage for that matter)…so’s I have nary a bit of advice. So, how about I just say:
You should have some kind of compensation for all the years you stayed with her during her illnesses, etc. That’s gotta count for something, right?
I assume she’s not able to work…hence the disability checks? I mean, is she still too ill to work? Can’t she do something to supplement her income?
Just curious.
P.S: You are awesome, funny, smart…and by golly, I like you! When you feel low…just remember there are strange people…strangers…whatever…all over the country that are rooting for you!
September 16, 2008 at 14:47 |
I got to say, it sounds like the handi-work of her attorney, as well.
September 16, 2008 at 22:31 |
silverstar – yep, my thought exactly. even with the banking crisis, she’s nowhere near where those truly needy live every day. pisses me off too…
t.u.b. – hmmm, i thought that was the smell of shit… oh, wait… six of one, half dozen of the other.
daisyfae – wait, signals from the dog planet? are you saying she’s a bitch? well… okay then… i’m good with that…
parenthesis – *sigh* is right. i’ll make that trip still. it’ll just take a bit longer to get there. neither will i be destitute even if she gets her way. so i can’t and won’t complain.
leavingevangeline – yeah, you’d think so, but my lawyer pointed out early that emotional rants mean nothing, so the fact i invested emotionally in caring for her through her illness counts for nada. but, i can take that as a good thing that her emotional rant will mean nothing either. and you’re pretty rockin’ too…
uncle keith – say, you wouldn’t know of anybody who could take care of her lawyer would you? say, a certain furry rodentia army, specially trained in assassination skillz? just asking….
September 17, 2008 at 02:45 |
I’m a little into yoda philosophy today: “fear is the path to the dark side. fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hate leads to suffering.” She’s just scared. She’s not ready to embrace her new opportunities. And I suspect she senses how happy you are to be moving on. Punishment for happiness is a short step away from fear. But compassion is fekkin’ tough when people are being unreasonable. *sigh*
September 17, 2008 at 07:38 |
dolce – wow… deep stuff for a morning with not enough caffeine yet. but i do understand what you’re saying. she’s admitted to being afraid. and fear trumps logic most every time, especially when you can’t — or won’t — attempt to control it…. yep… i must have patience. thank you, dear D…
September 19, 2008 at 04:52 |
*sigh* yes, it does look like the lawyers are gonna make money out of this situation.
have you thought about “couples counselling” to get through the divorce? it’s not all about staying together any more…
and, Miss Evangaline, “rooting” means fucking in australia. is that what your feelings are towards gnukid 🙂
September 19, 2008 at 07:41 |
nursemyra – thought about? yes. don’t have high hopes for that given the effectiveness of marriage counseling. The Wife was…is… convinced she’s okay and everything at issue with the relationship is something i should change. yes, oversimplifying, but that’s the meat of it… and i’m waiting, a bit impatiently, to hear Miss Evangaline’s answer as well…
September 20, 2008 at 13:39 |
LOL!
A lady never tells…*blushes and bats lashes*.