Chocolate Hound

You’ve heard of bloodhounds that can track a human down based on just a hint of a scent from a glove or shoe or some such?  Well I think I’ve found the human equivalent, only she can track down chocolate.

My exercise and diet buddy is just such a person.  She loves chocolate.

Now, I like chocolate.  There are some kinds of chocolate that can’t survive an hour, let alone a day, in my house – – Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Snickers to name two.  But there are some that kinds that I can take or leave – – Kit Kats, Almond Joys, Malted Milk Balls, for example.

For Halloween, I bought one of those big variety packs, just in case some kids came by trick-or-treating.  They didn’t, so I was left with a couple big bags of chocolate candy bars.  The Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?  Inhaled.  History.  Applied to my waistline.

The rest?  Well, being the good host, I put them out in a bowl to entice those visiting my place.  Any time my friend comes over, she wanders her way…okay, she makes a beeline…for the candy bowl where she indulges in a few mini-bars.  And she looks at me in wonder and asks how I can keep chocolate out without eating any.  Then shakes her head in amazement when I explain that some chocolate just doesn’t jazz me up.

But, she is my diet buddy.  We’re supposed to be watching out for each other.  Supposed to help each other from overindulging in calorie-laden foods.  I was letting her down, good host or no, by having the chocolates out.

So I told her the next time she came by, I would put the chocolates away.  That day was today.  She was coming over to pick me up to head to the gym to get some exercise.  So, before she came, I hid the chocolates (now enclosed in a covered glass snowman for the holiday season) in a desk in the same room.

hidden a bit better than this, of course

She came in the front door and immediately headed over to where the chocolate bowl usually sat.

“Hey, where the hell is the chocolate?”

“I told you I was going to hide it next time you visited.”

Now, I wish I had a stop watch for what happened next.  Here we are in a room with a set of shelves and four pieces of furniture with multiple drawers.  After a quick glance at the shelves to see if I uncleverly hid it in plain sight, she turned a searching eye to the rest of the room – – –

…and walked directly over to the desk and opened it to find the chocolates.  It couldn’t have been but 10 seconds from her fussing at me out for hiding them to her finding this covered, well hidden container of delectable treats.

I was quite impressed.

My friend?  Said it was nothing.  She was trained by her children hiding things on her.

A sixth sense for finding chocolate?

I’m thinking that can be marketable.


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12 Responses to “Chocolate Hound”

  1. Rob Says:

    Good g-d mon! None of what ye’ve listed above could e’en be close to bein’ considered chocolate! Now, Annie was o’er to the annual christmas craft show a week or two ago an’ she bought me a wee pack o’ truffles, a wondrous home made chocolate delight. Now that’s chocolate! I always say if ye’ve got to remove a paper wrapper from it, then it just isn’t real chocolate!

  2. nursemyra Says:

    I’m with you on the peanut butter cups and snickers bars gnukid. they wouldn’t be safe around me either. But I can definitely ignore kitkats, maltesers, bounties etc….

  3. Dennis the Vizsla Says:

    You can put it in a gadget with arms and flashing lights like the old Ghostbusters ectoplasm detector, and call it the Choc-O-Meter!

  4. Dennis the Vizsla Says:

    PS — I like my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups frozen.

  5. Mitzi G Burger Says:

    Whoa-ho! Exactly my field of expertise. Pull up a chair, disciples. Earlier this year I suffered the Curse of the Chocolate Hedgehog. The CH is a delectable chocolate tart, made from dark chocolate and genache and other forms of chocolate all chocolated together with chocolatey spikes on top, like a very sweet hedgehog. I was hooked. I would think it about it during the day and plan my weekly hedgehog, which at one point was twice-weekly, and when Caketown was closed, I would snarf other kinds of chocolate – mostly Lindt, or whatever I could find at my Nanna’s place – and eat chocolate coissants. I had become dependent, horrifyingly so! I made a resolution: I have reduced my chocolate consumption to weekends only. It cuts down the cravings and makes chocolate more special – if that is possible! It actually results in less chocaholicism, and makes for restrained but satisfying chocolatiering from Friday evening to Sunday night. Refer your friend to me for group therapy, if you wish.

  6. beaverboosh Says:

    i’d give her a good run for her money… and i am probably a faster runner!

  7. hisqueen Says:

    oh yeah…I’m with her…Hide all you like, I’ll find it. I am all over Dove chocolate and forget about sharing any type of Malleys Chocolate that is made in Cleveland.
    When I worked at the hospital people would find me for their chocolate fixes. They were very upset when I started the Atkins diet.
    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find my chocolate chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate syrup for breakfast.

  8. TBFKAMP Says:

    Being down south, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, Almond Joys, Malted Milk Balls don’t exist. Kit-kats do. I’ll pass on them any day. Methinks I should be sending you some ZA brands to try out – for the holiday season, and ahead of your birthday. Ever had a chocolate orange? Or hmmm, some Marula chocolates – filled with Amarula liqueur. Won’t do your waist line much good … watch the post … ! x

  9. TBFKAMP Says:

    A friend of mine in Georgia commiserates with you re peanut butter cups. To quote, “yesssss, it’s like that. A bag of the little ones and a tall glass of milk … doom” 🙂

  10. daisyfae Says:

    dennis the viz is on to something…. perhaps anaysis of the olfactory processes that drive this ability, followed by research funding to create a biomimetic version…. yes, methinks a patent is in order…

  11. S. Le Says:

    1. I’m impressed you EXERCISE!
    2. I think I like your friend.

  12. thegnukid Says:

    rob – yeah, i know i know i’m a ‘chocolate plebian’. i think i avoid the good stuff in case it is too addicting (which i’m suspecting it is).

    nursemyra – but i think it’d be great fun fighting over them, since we both like them

    dennis the v. – damn, now i have to share the profits with you since you named it publicly.

    dennis the v. II – hmmm, i do that with my Snickers, but not the Reese’s. will have to try that.

    mitzi – now THAT’S chocolate. i can see why you got hooked. and my friend doesn’t want therapy…just more chocolate

    beaverboosh – but she’s crafty and agile. it’d be a fun contest to watch.

    hisqueen – yummy breakfast…i’d be climbing the walls in a sugar frenzy. i’ve rehidden the chocolate for her next visit. i’m hoping it lasts longer than 10 seconds this time.

    TBFKAMP – mmm, yep, chocolate orange and chocolate apple. used to be a Christmas staple.

    TBFKAMP II – milk in the evening, coffee in the morning…yeah, the combo is necessary

    daisyfae – damn damn…now we have to share with a yet another partner. but, hey, you’re a engineer, right? i’ll handle the business end, you handle the nuts and bolts.

    S. Le – Welcome to The Wilds. Pull up a seat by the fire and chew the fat with us. Now – – 1. by mandate, not by choice…i couldn’t live well and long unless i do exercise. 2. get in line, dear, many do or want to. she’s pretty cool.

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