Posts Tagged ‘what the fuck was i thinking?’

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October 29, 2008

No, we’re not in Kansas… that’s where them damn westerners live, unlike the decent, civilized folks here in The Wilds of Ohio.

i’ve not lived alone since university… and can you really call that living “alone” when i was in a dormitory the entire time with friends living mere feet away and all meals provided by a full time staff.  Okay, yeah, there was a short period after school and before getting married to The Spouse… but that was almost like an extension of living at college.

… and here i am, days away from living alone. 

Yep, an offer I made on a condo was accepted.  Accepted with provisos, but accepted nonetheless.  If the Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be closing on Friday.  And will be moving in next week.

When I went to the house inspection to make sure the place was habitable, the place was already vacated by the owner.  Without all of the furniture there, the blemishes and dings not seen on previous walkthroughs were glaringly obvious.  But, luckily, no issues which would prevent the contract from going forward.  One of the biggies found was that the installed microwave was on its last legs, with the top of the inside noticeably melted and blackened.  Hmmm…. hold that thought, dear reader.

While leaving at end of the inspection, I noticed a couple of my new neighbors and went over to introduce myself.  Friendly folks who seemed very pleased that I was moving in. She continued – – –

Lady Neighbor:  “We’re so glad you’re moving in.  This is a quiet neighborhood with great neighbors.  And it will be nice to have you here.  The lady who owned the home before you was… ummm… unique.”

GnuKid (feeling a bit nervous as he has been accused of being ‘unique’ as well):  “Unique?  How so?”

Lady Neighbor (a bit sheepishly):  “Well, you’ll forgive me.  I was a school teacher and they always taught us to use non-confrontational words… like unique… to describe people who…. okay, okay… we called her ‘Crazy Mary’!”

Ah-ha!  The microwave explained!

I demurred from asking further, probing questions because, though I may be unique, I don’t consider myself ‘crazy’. 

Right, gentle readers?  Right?  Ummm… Hello?  I said I wasn’t ‘Crazy’… that was your cue to nod vigorously and agree with me.  Hello?

Anyway, I’m about to enter this venture with little experience in interior decorating… and not too much common sense in that area either.  Color coordination and I don’t get along well.  Neither do I get along well with choosing and matching furniture styles (though with the expected budget i’ll have, “Nouveau Lawn Chair” may be a recurring theme throughout).  I’ve always considered myself “Eclectic”, so this will be an adventure in Eclecticism. 

So, wish me luck and here are some pictures I took of the empty place during the house inspection…

The Great Room

The Great Room

Yeah, I'm gonna have to paint that over...

Yeah, I will need to repaint

The Study (Col Mustard w/ the lead pipe)

The Study (Col Mustard w/ the lead pipe)

Second Bedroom (for kidlet visits, hopefully)

Second Bedroom (for kidlet visits...or you?)

My Bedroom

My Bedroom