Posts Tagged ‘Rule One’

Rule One Exemplified

December 2, 2009

A bit ago, I talked about the basics of relationship captured in the simplistic Rule One, Rule Two.  Essentially, Rule One is that all women are crazy to some extent.  Rule Two is that you have to get laid anyway.  The anti-simplistic side to this rule is figuring out when Rule One overrides Rule Two.

While continually mulling over Rule Two, I had a chance to experience, first hand, one of the shining examples of Rule One-itude.  Let’s call her ROE, short for Rule One Epitome

This actually happened a few months ago.  Forgive me for taking so long to blog about it, but there are just some things you have to puzzle and process before putting fingers to keyboard.

I met ROE when I was on a scuba vacation this summer.  I was there with Dear Friend and she was there with her boyfriend.  We talked oh-so-briefly, and usually about what we saw the last dive and what we could expect the next dive.  The group we were diving with got along great, so we all exchanged e-mail addresses.

A couple months later (a couple months ago), I got an e-mail from ROE out of the blue.  She just wanted to say “Hi” and asked how I was doing.  We started an e-mail exchange back and forth.  Not many e-mails…3 or 4 a piece.  Pleasantries, mostly…things we like to do, what our jobs are, more scuba talk.  One of the things I shared I like to do is biking and told her where I bike.  She wrote back that she’d always wanted to bike that route, so we set up a “bike date”.  I didn’t really consider it a ‘date’, per se, but thought it might lead to dating opportunities.

Bike day rolls around.  Since she was from an hour away, we met at a restaurant near my place which she knew about, put her bike on my bike rack, and headed to the bike path.  And we start off down the bike path together.  I was looking forward to at least an hour ride to get some good exercise in.  We didn’t get 10 minutes down the path, chatting about nothing much, when she hit me with a strange question – – “So, GnuKid, what did you think of my e-mails?”  It wasn’t so much what she asked (although that did seem rather random), as how she asked it.

If I had hackles on my neck, they would’ve been bristling.

Giving her a generic, noncommittal answer, we rode on.  But she pressed.

She started saying things about how much I meant to her.  About how my kindness has really meant so much to her.  About how I’ve become a very important part of her life.


I’ve known this woman for 2 months in which we’ve had a grand total of about…oh…15 minutes of talk time together (even counting what I guess would be the amount of time to read the e-mails).  Now, I may have a certain charm…but 15 minutes and I’m “very important in her life”?  Ahhh!!!

Any thoughts of dating this woman immediately flew out of my mind.  We drove back to the restaurant where she suggested we go in for a drink.

Umm, look at the time, gotta scoot, thanks so much, bye!

The next day?  A text message from her (in text speak, which drives me a bit crazy all by itself), which read:

Goodatrnoon GnuKid..hope ur enjoying visit w ur cousin! Lastnite w u vy enjoyble!  Ur vy specl bak at work wed sat this week yay!! Thnx for ur support GnuKid vy muchim having dinner w my dad..btw we could do a ride wed eve, more time to vist..Thnx GnuKid! hugs ROE

How many times did she use my name in the course of that very short text message?  My “Flee or Fight” reaction kicked in full gear to the “Flee…Flee NOW!” mode.

Sent a kind, thanks but no thanks message to her.

okay, yeah, i e-mailed...but you get the idea

Luckily, she wasn’t in stalker mode and has only sent one generic e-mail since.

Proving to myself that there may be some instances where Rule Two will never trump Rule One…


Rule One, Rule Two

June 22, 2009

I introduced my friend, Dr. Jim, in a prior post.

Dr. Jim preceded me in divorcing his 1st wife some 20 years ago.  As me friend, he has in the past and continues to counsel and advise me on life issues, to include my marital issues (culminating, obviously, in my own divorce).

I expressed a concern to him, long ago, about being both alone and lonely—especially the physical and sexual intimacies I knew (and still know) I desired.

He captures the essence of what is likely known by everyone (including me), but put it in terms which were readily understandable and resonate well with me.  It will serve as a touchstone to my dating adventures I’m embarking upon.

While this concept was explained for my benefit, as a man, I am very sure (sorry guys, I am) that it could equally be applied by swapping genders for the following:

Dr. Jim’s “Rules For Women”

Rule ONE:  All women are crazy.  No exceptions.  It is, however, clearly a matter of ‘how much’.


even good looking can't compensate for too crazy

even good looking can't compensate for too crazy


Rule TWO:  You still gotta get laid.





Therefore—you have to balance the degree to which a woman is crazy against the degree to which you gotta get laid.  With this rule, there are clearly some women you should not sleep with.  And, with this rule, there may come a time where you must sleep with someone you shouldn’t have.

Now, obviously, figuring out those “degrees” is the difficult part.  Some women hide their craziness better than others.



Still going to date.


July 4, 2008

She whispered silkily in my ear, “Relax. You’re safe here.”

“Yes, I can be safe here. Relax,” my mind nodded agreement.

Yet my muscles tightened; my breath shortened.

My mind betrayed, I walked out, never to return.

. . . . .