Posts Tagged ‘Office Family’

Male Minds

July 7, 2008

We interrupt this blog to bring you this short vignette overheard at work today – –

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Here in North America we have a restaurant called International House of Pancakes, abbreviated IHOP (no relation to the ubiquitous iPod) and simply pronounced “I-Hop”. 

(Let’s pause for a moment to soak in the irony of a restaurant found only in North America calling itself ‘International’).

One of the ladies in the office living here in The Wilds of Ohio frequents a nearby International House of Pancakes and commented to three of us guy-types how tasty the pancakes were.

Wanting to try it for himself, one of the guys asked:

Him:  Okay, so where is this place?

Her:  It’s about a mile west of the interstate highway on Cox Road.

Him:  Cox Road?

Her:  Oh, I love it…  IHOP on Cox.

Three Guys:  <blink… blink… blink… blink… >

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We return you now to the regularly scheduled blog… unless (like me and probably most guys at this point) you’re indulging in vivid visualizations of your favorite girl toy… or composing pornographic Dr. Seuss rhymes… nope, i guess there won’t be a regularly scheduled blog today…

 

 

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Nerd Herd Identification

June 20, 2008

I think you’ve all heard the standard warning signs of nerd presence: pocket protector, fashion sense of Helen Keller (???), BCGs*, belts laden with electronics galore…

Okay, let me be honest here. Shhhh… I have closet nerd tendencies myself. But through drugs therapy, I’ve been able to suppress those tendencies.

I’ve always suspected there are “functional nerds” who live among us. Those capable enough to hide their inner nerd-ness in a public environ. I’ve actually run across a few in my daily activities

But I recently had an experience that opened my eyes some to the ability of some of these “chameleonerds”.

At a recent waste of time mandatory presentation, a chart was shown with an obviously defective calendar across the top. Dates were interposed or flat out wrong. While the presenter was scrambling to explain, a fully registered and openly public nerd herd representative hollered out, “It’s not wrong, it’s in the Romulan** calendar format!”

There were clear differences in who responded and the way they responded—

(a) The ‘normal’ people*** either ignored the hollering nerd altogether or rolled their eyes and looked at other ‘normal’ people with that secret ‘normal’ people look they give each other.

(b) The ambiguous…like me…smiled inwardly at the reference, but kept a sharp eye out for the reactions of others.

(c) There still is no damn “(c)”

(d) The nerds, whether open or ‘chameleonerds’ could not hold back a loud, snorting guffaw. For some, this was followed by instant discussions of the merits of dilithium phasers against a cloaked Romulan warship (again, see **).

What surprised me was that some people I had clearly assigned into Category (a) were the most vocally snorting Category (d) kind of people. How do these people assume the demeanor and look of a ‘normal’ person while within beats the nerdly heart of a PeeWee Herman or Ugly Betty? How did I not now they were nerds? They dressed well, communicated without reference to electronics… Does that mean there is no (b) as well, but only more ‘chameleonerds’? Wow…

This opened the eyes for yours truly. The Wilds of Ohio still must have untapped and undiscovered adventures to seek. I must find my pith**** helmet and binoculars and go explore!

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* BCGs: Birth Control Glasses. At one time in the military, I was afforded ‘free’ health care. But it was still at a price…BCGs being a high one paid. The only glasses they made available to you would turn 99% of women away in either horror or milk-out-the-nose laughter.

** For those folks with a life who don’t know the ‘Romulan’ reference from Star Trek, check out this site. And, yes, I do realize the fact I could readily find such a site confirms my prior reveal as a closet nerd.

*** I’m sure there’s a blog or seven in discussing what the hell qualifies as ‘normal’…I’m forced to used the term qualitatively for this blog, but fully believe there is no such thing as ‘normal’ (Thank God!)

**** Thorry for the lithp.

Office conversation

May 7, 2008

Overheard at the office – – –

Woman1: “Boy, I sure get bitchy when I’m tired.”

Woman2 (sotto voce): “Sheesh, she must not get much sleep, then.”

At least I hoped it was said quietly enough…nonetheless, I prepared to run like a (smart?) coward from the likely ensuing cat fight. Too much chance of collateral damage (i.e., me).