Posts Tagged ‘hurry up and wait’

Here Comes Da Judge

May 11, 2009

Okay, so I’m a tad behind on what’s been doing with the Divorce*.

With the court date coming up, I continued to try and get The Spouse to agree to a dissolution…a negotiated settlement…vice going for the full divorce.  Cheaper in the long run.  However, she was not cooperative.  She was, indeed, convinced that I was trying to take advantage and walk away with everything, so wanted to rely on the courts.

So, the court date arrives the 11th of March (yes, * again).  I’d tried to contact my lawyer to find out what the routine was, but never got a call back.  Our court time was 09:30.  I arrive early to find The Spouse there already, but no lawyers.  Her lawyer shows up at 09:25.  Mine didn’t show until 09:40, leaving me a nervous(-er?) wreck.  Come to find out the 09:30 time was only notional.  This particular judge expects every couple to make a last try at negotiating a settlement.

Amazingly, it seems she will consider a settlement.  Don’t know if her lawyer leaned on her or what, but she was amenable to splitting up the assets.  Not so much amenable to a reasonable alimony, however.  We had to haggle over that for a bit, with me finally giving in just to get the thing done.

So, with the agreement in hand, we get sworn in and finally go in to see the judge.  The lawyer reads the agreement into the record and the judge asks if we both agree to what was said.  We both said, “Yes”, with me admittedly holding my breath in fear of The Spouse revoking her agreement when the judge asked.  The judge had us come up and sign the court record saying we agreed.  Then she (the judge was a she, but not Judge Judy) put us on the stand, one after the other, and asked us some standard questions.  The kicker questions, of course, being “Do you want this divorce?” and “Do you see any chance of reconciliation?”  Again, I cringed in anticipation of The Spouse throwing a hand grenade into this turd bowl of a Divorce, but she gave the appropriate responses.

Then, the judge said, “…yadda yadda yadda I hereby grant your plea for divorce yadda yadda yadda**…”.

Wow…I’m divorced!

Then the judge added, “…but don’t go getting married in the next few weeks.  The papers need to be written up, signed, and recorded in the county records.”

Wow…I’m slightly divorced!

[sigh]

Now to wait on the paperwork…

it's a shitty job

it's a shitty job

…more to come…

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*Hell’s bells, I know I’m behind on lots of stories.

**No, of course she didn’t really say the ‘yadda yadda’ part… that’s just what all the legalese sounded like to me.  But wouldn’t it be cool if she did say that?