Posts Tagged ‘gas warfare’

Geneva Convention Crimes

November 13, 2008

On my way to Oklahoma last week with Daughter Person, we found ourselves flying in one of our remaining airlines (Motto:  “Yeah, we’re going out of business, but we still don’t care enough to treat you well”). 

As those of you who travel know, when you fly, you are an instant family member of some 20 – 100 previously total strangers with whom you now must share breathing air and limited leg room.  There are stories galore out there of such travel, some very first hand and some urban legend passed down from traveler to traveler.

On this particular flight, Girl Child and I were lucky enough to be sitting next to each other, so didn’t have to rub shoulders with total strangers, or have them yak at you incessantly, or drool as they slept on your shoulder.

Then it happened…

Hurtling at near Mach speeds 4 to 8 miles above the earth in a pressurized tube of aluminum, there is limited escape for certain… ummm… odors… we were assailed by the most wretched, sulfuric, acrid smell I’ve had to endure in recent memory.

Daughter Person automatically blamed me… “Dad!!!”  Claiming, rightfully so, my innocence, we were nonetheless still under olfactory assault. 

Now, I don’t know what the guy in front of us ate (as I’m assuming he was the most likely suspect), but it clearly did not agree with his digestive system and led to that attack of poisonous gas.  Covering noses with shirts pulled up and cranking up the overhead air vent, we waited out the pitiful circulation system’s feeble attempt to dissipate the offending odors.

Courtesy… and being unsure it really WAS the guy in front of us… kept me from noisily wretching and loudly announcing the pubescent boy’s challenge of “Whoa!! What crawled up your ass and died?”

And, yes, I did check the Geneva Convention to check if it was illegal to use gaseous warfare… and, yes, the United States is a signatory to that agreement to ban the use of poisonous gases… but then I noticed there was a footnote next to the ol’ US of A’s line.  Checking the footnote, it says “With reservation(s)”…

…i’m guessing the ‘reservation was made by the guy in front of me…