Posts Tagged ‘elusive freedom’

Signed, Sealed, Undelivered

June 1, 2009

The Spousal Unit finally signed.

She sent me an e-mail 2 days prior to the court mandated date*.  Of course, in that same e-mail was a renewed push for insurance.

Not trusting that she actually signed, given her prior history, I refused to allow myself to get excited by this news.  Rather, I told myself I wanted a paper copy of that decree—signed, certified, and recorded in the county records.

…so I waited…

The court-mandated date passed.  Given time for mail deliveries and administrivia, I did not expect to hear this soon (but was hopeful, nonetheless).

…and I waited…

Not wanting to assist my lawyer in buying her new Porsche, I did not ask her what was going on.  Instead, I looked for other information sources.  And the internet came through for me…

Our county court (and likely just about every one) has a web site of all court actions for public viewing**.  I checked under my name and—yep—there I am.

At first?  No record of the decree being recorded***.

A few days later?  A line had been added!  It said, “FINAL JUDGMENT & DECREE OF DIVORCE FILED AND GRANTED TO BOTH PARTIES”!  But, I still had no paper copy…nor was there a downloadable version on the web site.

Waiting a few days more—finally, a .pdf file.  I downloaded it and printed it immediately.  It had all the signatures (especially the judge’s!) and a stamp on the front saying it was recorded in the county records.

Still, as of today, no “official” mail copy of it…but I’m divorced.

Stuff left to do—asset splitting and selling the house—but…I’m divorced!

…I’m divorced…and out…



*Learned of this date while pinging my lawyer for information (at $$ each ping).  This just increased my ire.
**This will be a good source for checking up on future dating opportunities as well—I can track how many restraining orders have been thrown at potential dates.  I can see if they’ve been arraigned for spousal abuse.  I can even see if they’ve been arraigned for sexual perversions—that latter working both ways in that I can find someone with similar…or intriguing…interests… <grin>
***While not finding my decree, I did find an interesting tidbit where both of our lawyers were threatened with Contempt of Court by the judge because of the delays in getting the decree finalized in a timely manner.  <chuckle>

Here Comes Da Judge

May 11, 2009

Okay, so I’m a tad behind on what’s been doing with the Divorce*.

With the court date coming up, I continued to try and get The Spouse to agree to a dissolution…a negotiated settlement…vice going for the full divorce.  Cheaper in the long run.  However, she was not cooperative.  She was, indeed, convinced that I was trying to take advantage and walk away with everything, so wanted to rely on the courts.

So, the court date arrives the 11th of March (yes, * again).  I’d tried to contact my lawyer to find out what the routine was, but never got a call back.  Our court time was 09:30.  I arrive early to find The Spouse there already, but no lawyers.  Her lawyer shows up at 09:25.  Mine didn’t show until 09:40, leaving me a nervous(-er?) wreck.  Come to find out the 09:30 time was only notional.  This particular judge expects every couple to make a last try at negotiating a settlement.

Amazingly, it seems she will consider a settlement.  Don’t know if her lawyer leaned on her or what, but she was amenable to splitting up the assets.  Not so much amenable to a reasonable alimony, however.  We had to haggle over that for a bit, with me finally giving in just to get the thing done.

So, with the agreement in hand, we get sworn in and finally go in to see the judge.  The lawyer reads the agreement into the record and the judge asks if we both agree to what was said.  We both said, “Yes”, with me admittedly holding my breath in fear of The Spouse revoking her agreement when the judge asked.  The judge had us come up and sign the court record saying we agreed.  Then she (the judge was a she, but not Judge Judy) put us on the stand, one after the other, and asked us some standard questions.  The kicker questions, of course, being “Do you want this divorce?” and “Do you see any chance of reconciliation?”  Again, I cringed in anticipation of The Spouse throwing a hand grenade into this turd bowl of a Divorce, but she gave the appropriate responses.

Then, the judge said, “…yadda yadda yadda I hereby grant your plea for divorce yadda yadda yadda**…”.

Wow…I’m divorced!

Then the judge added, “…but don’t go getting married in the next few weeks.  The papers need to be written up, signed, and recorded in the county records.”

Wow…I’m slightly divorced!


Now to wait on the paperwork…

it's a shitty job

it's a shitty job

…more to come…


*Hell’s bells, I know I’m behind on lots of stories.

**No, of course she didn’t really say the ‘yadda yadda’ part… that’s just what all the legalese sounded like to me.  But wouldn’t it be cool if she did say that?