Posts Tagged ‘Cousin G’

Compare and Contrast

January 5, 2009

…from my sister’s reaction when I told her I was leaving The Spouse…

…to a cousin’s, G, reaction, in a hand-written note in her Christmas card to me – – –



I am sorry to say but I cheered when I heard you had left The Spouse.  This is nothing against The Spouse but my desire to see you happy.  The situation was not good for you.

Enjoy life, it is too short to spend with guilt and regrets.  You owe yourself fun and love.


Cousin, G, has had a rocky, yet fulfilling life.  She’s been married three times.  The first ended, after many months of arguing, when her husband shot at her with a pistol.  She claimed she wasn’t frightened and knew he would miss since he’s an expert marksman.  Oooo-kay, then.  Since then, she’s lived her life full tilt, even despite health issues (degenerative neck muscles and breast cancer, to name two).  A failed second marriage, which she dumped out of as soon as she knew it was wrong (instead of waiting like ‘some’ of us do <blush>).  A third marriage which she thought was magical, until it ended tragically with his early death.  Still, there was much to do for herself.  Travel (including a two week hike in the outback of Oz, just before her breast cancer diagnosis), family, career (including getting a local tv show gig where she lives)… it’s all been aimed at her basic question to herself:  “Will this fulfill me in some way and make my life better and happier.” 

So, to get this message of encouragement from such a woman was quite uplifting to my spirits. 

We can’t choose our families (although sometimes we luck out as I did with G).  But, we CAN choose who we have closer relationships with.  

I’m definitely going to keep in better contact with her.  As a matter of fact, I’m writing her as soon as I finish this…