…and, no, I’m not talking about the mom of of my mom or dad.
‘Tis the holiday season and holiday parties are rolling. Aside from the usual office parties, last week the women in our office up and declared a “ladies lunch” where they would go off and spend hours drinking and eating and yakking. work? that was for us men-folk, that day. we weren’t even considered to invite.
But, with all the hoo-ha about business places to be politically correct*, the boss (one of the ladies), came around the next day and suggested that the guys have a “gentlemen’s lunch” so no one would feel left out.
Aside from the fact that most of us aren’t really gentlemen, we dove on the opportunity since it would be a valid and boss-approved chance to go drink and eat and do manly things (ogling the waitresses, watching football highlights on the big screen tv in the place we went, scratching ourselves, and so on).
After being seated and ordering our first round of drinks, one of the guys offered up that we should play manly games. When questioned on just what the hell ‘manly games’ really are, he paused a second and said, “Let’s see how many times you can use ‘fuck’ in a sentence!”
I replied, surprising myself at the ease of my diatribe:
“Seeing how many fucking times these fucks can use ‘fuck’ in a fucking sentence is a fucking stupid fucking idea that none of the fucking fuckers here at the fucking table would give a flying fuck about…so fuck off, you fucking fucker.”
I was immediately declared the winner and we moved on to talking about women and drinking more beer and belching.**
*Attributed to many, the definition I enjoy most is: “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”
**Okay, that’s not exactly true. After dissecting the sentence, we realized there were verbs, nouns, and adjectives all based on ‘fuck’, but no adverbs. So, my question to the readers – – – can you make ‘fuck’ an adverb?