The Director

Our director for “The Producers”, C,  is well known in the local theater community.  While not old enough to be considered an “icon” or “pillar” of the community, he is well on his way to becoming so.  A very caring friend and hard worker.

And, yeah, he’s openly gay.

Again, that’s not really important, except for a couple stories that came out of the rehearsals for the show.


C Story #1:

C is amazing at set design and construction.  He’s won many local awards (it was not so jokingly suggested at the last awards ceremony that it would have been easier to count the number of his sets that did NOT win an award).  For this show, he again put his heart into it and designed a great set.  Great sets often require great effort to build.  Thus the need, in community theater anyway, for the cast to pitch in and help.  Well, he wasn’t getting the support he expected and, not wanting to fail, spent long and late hours doing it mostly himself.  Finally, he’d had enough and called a cast meeting, garnering the support of his choreographer, A, to help share his message of concern.

After an impassioned speech by C, wherein he worked himself to tears bemoaning the likelihood of the set not being finished in time, he had to turn over the verbal spanking to A.  A continued with anger at the lack of support.  It was beginning to get real uncomfortable.  Yeah, the cast was not supporting as they should, but we are volunteers and don’t like getting yelled at.    A was working into a frenzy – – –

A:  “I mean, c’mon guys.  This set will not build itself!  It’s not like there’s some magic set fairy that comes in every night!”

A glances over at C.  Their eyes locked.  And immediately the angry mood was broken.  Both of them smiled and, C, raised his hand slowly and said,

C:  “Well, yeah, there IS a set fairy.”


C Story #2:

After a late rehearsal, one of the actors came back to the green room (where the actors hang out when not on stage) and announced that he had to go, but that C had a flat tire and was looking for help.

Looking to curry do a favor and not in a hurry to leave (hell, there’s only work to look forward to the next morning), I wandered up front to find an seemingly unconcerned C yakking with one of the theater staff members.  After confirming that he did indeed have a flat tire, I offered to change his tire (not a euphemism).  In hindsight?  I should’ve just asked if he had a AAA card and suggested he call them to do the job.  But, he is a caring friend, so I thought, “What the hell.”

We wandered out to the car in a darkened parking lot.  While we…okay, I—C just showed me where stuff was… were getting the spare and jack out, another cast member, B (who happens to be gay as well), came wandering out to go home.  I asked B if he could help by bringing his car around to shine the headlights on the proceedings, which he gladly did.

And then I began the process of changing out the tire, while B and C stood there yakking about the play and community theater and whatever…

B made the revelation and asked,

B:  “Quiz!  You come across three men changing a tire.  One is actually changing the tire and two are standing around watching and talking.  Which one is the straight man?”


Story #3:

After B’s revelation and pop quiz, the talk came around to C’s infatuation with certain young, male cast members, especially J.  I mentioned in a prior post that a couple of the cast members were undeclared as to their orientation.  Curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask.

GnuKid:  “So, is J gay?  I’m just not sure.”

C:  “God, I hope so.”

GunKid:  “How about Z?”

C:  “Oh, hell no.”

GnuKid:  “How are you so sure about that?”

C:  “Well, his cock tasted straight when I blew him.”

…[blink]… [blink]… [blink]… [blink]…

C [breaking out into boisterous laughter]:  “Damn, I’ve been waiting for such a long time to use that joke.  And it worked!”

Hmmm, I never did get the answer to my question.  And, that’s okay.


More show stories to come…


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13 Responses to “The Director”

  1. Mitzi G Burger Says:

    Chuckles! Funny tales. Once the cock discussion starts it’s best I purse my lips rather than become overly animated. (Prim, ladylike smile.)

  2. daisyfae Says:

    ok, so i sort of miss the goofy stuff with theater – there are fun folks out there. but i don’t miss the disfunction, drama and being yelled at…

    • thegnukid Says:

      yeah, some of the dysfunctional drama is coming up in a future post. but there are some really good and fun people out there.

      as for being yelled at, work must be tough for you.

  3. savannah Says:

    great tales of the theatah, sugar! xoxoxo

    • thegnukid Says:

      welcome to The Wilds, dear savannah. let me pour you a sarsaparilla while you set and visit a bit. one of the reasons i like the theatah is that there is rampant opportunity for ‘great tales’.

  4. Rob Says:

    story 3 made me laugh out loud. You were had, mr. gnukid. Twice if you count changing that tire (not a euphemism).

    • thegnukid Says:

      if that’s the worst i get had, then i’m a happy camper. these are good people, theater folk. rarely a bad heart in there. a bit out there? yeah. but still good hearted.

  5. nursemyra Says:

    What a great line…. I wonder if I’ll have to wait a long time to use it too

  6. carlae Says:

    During the summer some friends of our are on a co-ed Gay softball team. They were having several fund raisers to attend the Gay World Series, so we offered up our yard to weed. So one assigned day The Gay Gardeners to make our yard all beautiful. The entertaining part was the stories they were telling about their own various antics. Not a lot of drama that day, but there was some flame throwing.

  7. writerdood Says:

    Well, it was very nice of you to change the tire anyway. It is a difficult question to answer, though. And, frankly, I have never come across three guys changing a tire with two of them watching. If, however, I do come across such a scene, I’ll be sure to inquire as to their sexual orientations and get back to you.

    Actually, after thinking about this, it could be different each time I ask, so what you really want is the statistics. For that you’ll have to come across three guys changing a tire with two watching quite often in order to compose a decent sample size. I’m guessing the standard deviation will be quite high.

    • thegnukid Says:

      statistics are fun, especially when manipulated for your own purposes. i await the results of your test patiently. i’m sure you’ll be traveling the highways and byways with a keen eye out for just such a tableau.

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