Government Warning

As I sit here at the computer drinking a beer, I find myself staring at the bottle and am reminded of a half-remembered conversation.

At my sister’s inurnment, a few family members from out of town made it in.  One, an older cousin*, brought along his girlfriend**.  After the service, one of the family friends who lived in the area opened their home for a wake…food, beer, talk.

Still not sure how I felt about the whole sister thing, I decided to enjoy a beer…or three***.  During a lull in the discussion at the table, I perused the label and noticed the government warning:

WARNING:  Consuming beer if pregnant can cause birth defects.

I read it out loud, sighed, and said, “Well, I don’t think I’m pregnant, but what the heck, I’ll take the chance…I’m drinking it.”

Cousin’s Girlfriend immediately shook her head solemnly, ‘tsk tsk’-ed, and said, “Oh, your poor, unborn, crippled child.”

She’s going to fit right in with this family.

This makes more sense to me...and makes more sense.


*Actually, he’s the one who gave me the nickname “The Kid” a long time ago.  My brother and two cousins living next door were about the same age.  Me?  9 years younger and a pain in the butt…okay, not much has changed, other than adding “Gnu” to the front end of “Kid”.

**Guess they’re getting pretty serious if she’s coming along to family funerals, huh?

***Hey, I wasn’t driving.

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7 Responses to “Government Warning”

  1. Mitzi G Burger Says:

    Always reassuring to have a good rapport with partners of extended family.

  2. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    At least you didn’t want hit her over the head with your empty bottle.

  3. daisyfae Says:

    *giggles* knuckle children….*snort*

  4. Dolce Says:

    that explains it.

  5. Dennis the Vizsla Says:

    Jeez, would it kill you to get a simple blood test to make sure you aren’t pregnant before you start with the drinking?

  6. kyknoord Says:

    What nonsense! My dad drank all the time when he was pregnant with me and I turned out just fine.

  7. thegnukid Says:

    mitzi – it was the first time i actually saw that she could fit in the group. until then? i thought she was stuffed shirt.

    stephanie – well, i was relying on my cousin to drive me back to the airport, so i had to be on good behavior with his girlfriend.

    daisyfae – those are the only kind i need right now, thank you very much.

    dolce – ummm… that “it” is wide open to interpretation. care to elaborate before i make erroneous assumptions and insert my foot in my mouth?

    dennis – i hate needles! and i like living life on the edge. a risk taker.

    kyknoord – while we could open a lively debate amongst my readers as to whether or not you actually did turn out “just fine”, your point is well taken. therefore, “Cheers!”

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