Shifting Relationship

If you have children, you will never… ever… cease being a parent.  That’s not to say that you have to continually treat your offspring as a child, but there will always be a feeling that you must protect and support your kids.  And, yes, I fully realize that there are some parents out there who feel their parental duties cease the moment their child turns 18.  Or even a 12-sigma minority who feel it ceases at birth…or even conception from some men.  But for the majority of us, always a parent.

My kids have had several opportunities to prove this point.  But I’ve noticed a subtle shift.  A shift which is touching.

Case in point. 

Boy Child is a contributing member of society, adult in all senses of the word.  But, still human.  And subject to human frailties and life events. 

He’s dating.  Or attempting to.  He dates some people he’s met through work, as well as a couple he’s met on-line.  A recent date?  One of his good friends for quite awhile.  He’s told me that they really like each other as friends, but never crossed the line to ‘dating’. 

That changed recently, as evidenced by a text message from The Boy:

“Fuck!!”

Parent mode kicks in and an immediate text back to him, asking what’s going on.

Seems he finally crossed the line with his longtime friend and found himself “making out” with her.  The problem?  His friend is still with her current partner.  Yes, they’re on the last legs of that relationship, but they’re still together.  Boy Child is very sensitive to the potential for problems with this.  His next text to me affirmed his feeling that:

“…it’s gonna be a drama apocalypse…”

(and a nice turn-of-phrase, that).

As a parent, I want to help.  As a parent, though, I know he’s an adult and must deal with this.  So, I offer support, an ear, a shoulder, a few kind words, and affirmation of him being a good man. 

But the ‘dad’ in me still aches for him.

And the ‘dad’ in me feels damn good that he feels he can come to me, openly and honestly, with this.

I think I did good raising that pup…

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Boxer Friday 19Feb10

That time of the week again.  Joining the delicious and berserk Nursemyra!

Doc Seuss is still a favorite

and

all day long

and

earthquake or sneeze

detail

nice, huh?

Truth, Justice, and the American Way

There I sit at MSP (Minneapolis/St. Paul) airport, waiting for my flight on the way to an adventure I’m currently enjoying.  A few random observations – –

–  TRUTH:  Before my divorce, I had a few life adventures (like my trip to Scotland two summers ago).  During the divorce, I was looking forward to dramatically increasing the number and frequency of adventures.  Reality sets in.  These things cost money.  So, I must work.  But work bosses don’t let you take off on holiday any old time and as often as I’d like.  So I find myself balancing more instead of the spontaneity I was (naively?) expecting.  Nonetheless, I am, in the grand scheme of things, increasing the frequency of adventures compared to the first mumblety-three years of my life.  It’s a good thing.

–  JUSTICE:  The Wilds of Ohio is attempting to become less wild.  Consider this a PSA.  A friend, “Slipper”, who has at times abused the bottle prior to driving, was finally caught by the local gendarmes.  I have heard many stories of such stops in the past, wherein the offender, especially if older and without a prior history of being stopped, is usually warned in a tone intended to emphasize the severity of the situation, but released to drive carefully home.  My friend was not so lucky.  Charged with OVI (Operating a Vehicle under the Influence…formally known as DUI, Driving Under the Influence).  The ‘stern talking to’ is gone.  She got 10 days without being allowed to drive at all…that was just to get to the court hearing.  There she got a 6 month suspension to her driving privileges where she can only drive to and from work (how does she get her food?), a $2000 fine, a $500 fee to get her license back, 2 years suspended sentence (meaning if she’s caught again, the shit will really hit the fan), plus has to go (at a $250 fee) to alcohol abuse class.  All this for .02 above the legal limit (which is .08).  Like I said, a Public Service Announcement.  Be careful out there.

–  THE AMERICAN WAY:  All in favor of a Constitutional amendment guaranteeing free access to the internet from anywhere on the continent?  Yeah, me too.  While some airports, like the one at home, do give free internet access (often accompanied by the prerequisite flurry of advertisements you have to wade through before actually beginning to surf the interwebz), MSP does not.  As a matter of fact, most bigger airports do not.  Yes, you can get access, but usually at an exorbitant fee.  If I traveled more, I’d consider buying a subscription to one of the pan-U.S. services which are found in most airports (e.g., Boingo).  But, for now, I’ll just be patient and wait until I can liberate borrow steal find a free signal.

Where in the world…

In my continuing theme of shamelessly piggybacking on other bloggers ideas, I join the scrumptious and flamboyant Daisyfae.  Well, not actually join…I honestly would much rather be where she is — sun, beach, relaxing… but must, instead, virtually join in the blogosphere.

While she is enjoying the sand between her toes and the sun on her shoulders, I, still here in The Wilds, must be satisfied with what’s available on the environmental menu.

Ahhh....relaxing...

Okay, I suppose I could’ve gone out an had the sun on my shoulders (it is a brilliant, blue sky day here), but I can take this farce only so far.

On suggestion, I’m going to write my name in the snow soon… no, no pictures of that!

Enjoy the day, wherever you are!

Boxer Friday 12Feb10

Thanks to some very kind comments and suggestions to continue from my last boxer friday post (as well as a couple VERY nice suggestions to continue sent privately), I am once again joining the delectably delicious Nursemyra for the Friday fun.

Not one of my theme (picture) boxers.  Rather, I chose it because it was red for Valentine’s Day Sunday.   And as brash counterpoint to the good Nurse’s soft pink gown.

Silk feels goooood

Happy early Valentine’s Day.

Soul Seniority

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “She’s got an old soul.”  I’ve used it myself.  What does it mean, though?

There are some that believe some souls are reusable.  When a person dies, their soul goes to Heaven or Paradise or Valhalla or Big Bob’s Soul Emporium or some such, to be ‘installed’ in the next little rug rat that’s born.   Depending on when that soul originated, it would … could… retain some of the life lessons from prior lifetimes.

You can always count on Kliban for an appropriate cartoon for any subject

The pessimists—or contrarians—amongst us would equate the ‘old’ part of that to meaning worn out… moth-eaten… ratty…  Okay, frankly, I do know a few folks like that.  Too young to be bitter and worn out, but there they are, already giving up on life.  Maybe those aren’t ‘old’ souls, but ‘ancient’ souls.  Or ‘defective’ souls?

The more popular understanding of ‘old soul’, and the one I share, is that person seems to have experience and wisdom not usually found in someone of that chronological age.  A teenager, for example, who knows how to calm a screaming crowd of natives using lost languages.  Okay, no, that’s not quite a good example, but you get the idea.  They seem to know how to handle situations without the guidance of an adult who had to learn it the hard way.  There’s a confidence in them.

Of course, this implies that, besides old and ancient souls, there must be some newer souls.

I, for one, wonder if I may have gotten a teenage soul.

Angst-filled…

Rash…

Cranky…

Hormonal…

Mistake-prone…

So, while writing this, I was just wondering without expecting any real answers (though if you have any, real or imagined, I’d enjoy hearing them) —

Do souls have expiration dates?  “Sell by” dates?

Are there really soulless bastards/bitches who skipped the table where the souls were handed out?

Can you really filet a soul?

Mysteries of the ages…