Coming home from my sister’s memorial service, I had to take a couple airline flights. On the first one today, I ran into what I thought was only urban myth – – the humorous flight crew.
happy to serve
I say ‘urban myth’ because of the internet jokes which occasionally hit my e-mailbox. Given the push for professionalism in the workplace, especially when you have lives in your care, I sort of doubted that the jokes were true. I’m speaking specifically of the flight attendant or captain speaking tongue-in-cheek to the passengers when giving the mandatory safety speeches or welcome speeches. You may have seen some in your e-mailbox.
For example:
Captain: “Welcome to XYZ Airline which has some of the finest flight attendants in the sky…unfortunately, we don’t have any of those on this flight…”
or, another I saw in an e-mail…after a supposedly rough landing:
Flight Attendant: “Please remain seated while Captain Kangaroo bounces what’s left of the airplane to the terminal building. At that time, you can unfasten your seat belts and work your way out of the smoking remnants of the aircraft.”
…and many more…
They just all seemed too flippant. Too irreverent. Too unprofessional.
But not on Southwest Airlines. They seem to encourage it.
Today, I heard a couple that really made me smile. So, for you I am now that person — “I heard this from a friend who was there, so it has to be true…”. I admit that none of these are gut-splitting howlers, but they did give me a chuckle, which was needed —
1) “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a full flight today. I realize that means some of you have to sit in seats that don’t lean back. Therefore, we ask that you just lean forward to make up for it.”
2) (After the safety briefing about seatbelts and oxygen masks) “For those of you paid attention, thanks very much. For those of you who didn’t – – ‘good luck’!”
3) “Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to point out the flight attendant in the middle of the cabin. She was nominated as Flight Attendant of the Year for our airline!”
<passengers give her a round of applause>
“…now, I don’t know why you’re clapping…she didn’t win.”
4) (As we stopped at the arrival gate) “Flight attendants, prepare doors for arrival. Everyone else…Get Out!”
5) “As you depart the aircraft, please check the monitors for your connecting Southwest flights. If your connections are on another airline, what the hell were you thinking?!”
I asked the perpetrator of 4 of the 5 if she had a professional writer.
and there are quite a few professional writers out there
She claimed they were spontaneous. Perhaps she was looking to get on the website of Southwest Airline jokes.
Me? I enjoy having as much fun on the job as I can, so it’s good to see others doing so as well.
If she only looked like this...
And my hat is off to Southwest Airlines allowing stuff like today…and this…
Tags: humorous flight attendants, making the most of a mind numbing job, random observation, tongue-in-cheek
The Wilds of Ohio 
December 8, 2009 at 22:37 |
i would fly southwest everywhere if i could. holding my breath and waiting for the day when they start smacking the really stupid people who don’t know how to board/deboard an airplane. cattle prods? hells yeah!
December 9, 2009 at 01:59 |
Qantas staff used to be really good but since Ralph Fiennes fucked a hostie in the toilets they’ve all lost their sense of humour
December 9, 2009 at 02:49 |
I love Southwest – they’ve always done just that on my flight, although the rapping was a cut above – loved that! As an extrememly terribly awfully nervous wreck flier person, I appreciate that they aren’t all serious and forboding. Nothing like sarcasm to snap me out of my funk. My Daddio told me a story of a recent SW flight he was on where they, right after takoff and on the initial sharp ascent, dumped out a case of peanuts up by the cockpit, got on the intercom and announced “Ready folks? The snacks are on the way!!!!!” or something like that, and let the peanuts slide down the aisles to the back of the plane. People grabbed them as they slid by. How cool.
December 9, 2009 at 08:06 |
I wish Southwest flew to Deniliquin, in the great south west of New South Wales, Australia.
December 9, 2009 at 10:06 |
It sounds like a fun flight, but I will still never fly Southwest — I want my reserved seating!
December 9, 2009 at 19:03 |
daisyfae – i get so frustrated with the board/deboard process as well. if we all just take our turn and move along, we’d be done in half the time. as it is? chaos. blah.
nursemyra – was he that bad? oh, wait, that’s not what you meant…
mstngsal – i’m guessing they don’t do it to soothe the souls fo nervous fliers like you. rather, they just get plain bored. and had to laugh at your Dad’s adventure. now that is spontaneity.
mitzi – oo, yeah! then i could come visit! oh, that’s not what you meant, huh? [chortle]
dennis – yeah, that no-reserved-seating took a bit to get used to. luckily, i checked in soon enough on all flights to get a fairly good seat. but i could see how it easily could have gone wrong.
December 12, 2009 at 23:54 |
Smart hedging on jet fuel during the last crude oil price spike is not the only reason that Southwest is a successful – and profitable – airline.