Crisis Averted

Going through my mail, it’s that time of month where all the bills start pouring in.  Festive budget juggling and calculations ensue.  Creative accounting methods are implemented (when can I pay this bill such that there will be money left to pay that bill today?) to avoid check bouncing, late fees, and dirty looks from neighbors when creditors come prowling the neighborhood in search of me.

Once such bill was from a doctor’s office, for services in treatment of some random malady*.

The bill looked familiar.  I thought I’d paid that a few months before.

Oh. Crap.

a dishonest mistake?

a dishonest mistake?

It was an overdue bill.

The statement emblazoned on the bill:  “Payments on your account are SERIOUSLY** overdue.  You must immediate make a substantial payment.”

Bracing myself further and already mentally recalculating where I could find the funds from, I glanced cautiously down at the “Amount Due” line – – –


So, now I’m confused…if I must make an immediate ‘substantial’ payment on this…how much should I send them?


*Chronic Rhinitis:  “Honest officer, that Rhino was begging for it, dressed the way she was and looking at me like she did…”

**You can tell they’re serious because they capitalized “SERIOUSLY”…otherwise, I’d have just blown them off another few months.

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8 Responses to “Crisis Averted”

  1. daisyfae Says:

    use a credit card. that’ll cost them more to process than 1.41…

  2. hisqueen Says:

    with Daisyfae on that…plus, perhaps you could put their return address in the top and then send it with out a stamp..they will have to pay when it get there.

  3. silverstar98121 Says:

    I’m more in favor of paying it in pennies. Now that would be a substantial payment. Oh, and do the return address trick so they have to pay postage.

  4. Rob Says:

    Did it really say, “You must immediate make a substantial payment”, ‘cuz that there is some damned po’ Englaise.

    You have some decidedly wicked commenters, with some delightfully wicked ideas. You *will* have to tell us which payment method you use.

  5. Sassy Miss P Says:

    I once got a cheque from the Revenoo for 73c. The paper it was printed on probably cost more than that. And then all of the above 🙂

  6. mstngsal22 Says:

    $1.40 would be substantial. Then see if you get another bill next month.

  7. imeantno Says:

    I’d pay – oh say 86¢ (that’s substantial!) of it and make them rebill you for the remainder.

  8. hisqueen Says:

    hubby says “call and see if they have a payment plan available.” then you pay “literally” just pennies on the dollar.

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