Here Comes Da Judge

Okay, so I’m a tad behind on what’s been doing with the Divorce*.

With the court date coming up, I continued to try and get The Spouse to agree to a dissolution…a negotiated settlement…vice going for the full divorce.  Cheaper in the long run.  However, she was not cooperative.  She was, indeed, convinced that I was trying to take advantage and walk away with everything, so wanted to rely on the courts.

So, the court date arrives the 11th of March (yes, * again).  I’d tried to contact my lawyer to find out what the routine was, but never got a call back.  Our court time was 09:30.  I arrive early to find The Spouse there already, but no lawyers.  Her lawyer shows up at 09:25.  Mine didn’t show until 09:40, leaving me a nervous(-er?) wreck.  Come to find out the 09:30 time was only notional.  This particular judge expects every couple to make a last try at negotiating a settlement.

Amazingly, it seems she will consider a settlement.  Don’t know if her lawyer leaned on her or what, but she was amenable to splitting up the assets.  Not so much amenable to a reasonable alimony, however.  We had to haggle over that for a bit, with me finally giving in just to get the thing done.

So, with the agreement in hand, we get sworn in and finally go in to see the judge.  The lawyer reads the agreement into the record and the judge asks if we both agree to what was said.  We both said, “Yes”, with me admittedly holding my breath in fear of The Spouse revoking her agreement when the judge asked.  The judge had us come up and sign the court record saying we agreed.  Then she (the judge was a she, but not Judge Judy) put us on the stand, one after the other, and asked us some standard questions.  The kicker questions, of course, being “Do you want this divorce?” and “Do you see any chance of reconciliation?”  Again, I cringed in anticipation of The Spouse throwing a hand grenade into this turd bowl of a Divorce, but she gave the appropriate responses.

Then, the judge said, “…yadda yadda yadda I hereby grant your plea for divorce yadda yadda yadda**…”.

Wow…I’m divorced!

Then the judge added, “…but don’t go getting married in the next few weeks.  The papers need to be written up, signed, and recorded in the county records.”

Wow…I’m slightly divorced!

[sigh]

Now to wait on the paperwork…

it's a shitty job

it's a shitty job

…more to come…

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

*Hell’s bells, I know I’m behind on lots of stories.

**No, of course she didn’t really say the ‘yadda yadda’ part… that’s just what all the legalese sounded like to me.  But wouldn’t it be cool if she did say that?

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8 Responses to “Here Comes Da Judge”

  1. nursemyra Says:

    another step on the road to your new life…..

  2. hisqueen Says:

    Way to go!!!! Did you walk out with a stupid grin like I did? I was so happy to have everything done, finally. Too bad you didn’t have the cool judge that I did, he asked if I wanted to walk the papers to the clerk to post that same day. I guess my “Really?? THANK YOU!!”(response when he said we’re divorced) was a bit too enthusiatic for him. Declined the papers but did take the guard to the car since Ex was more than a bit furious.
    Now…..let’s practice your “sorry, it wasn’t part of the divorce” statement when she asks for all kinds of other stuff.
    (joy, then sadness, a tinge of regret, then basic relieve and satisfaction that your new life has begun) Live it one day at a time.

  3. The Unbearable Banishment Says:

    You never got a callback from your lawyer!? WTF?! I’ll bet if you were late with a payment you’d get a call from him toot-sweet.

  4. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    so “hooray”s are in order?
    I can only imagine the weight that has been lifted from your shoulders.

  5. kyknoord Says:

    I hope you aren’t going to frame the final decree like my ex did. Rather just email scanned copies to all your friends. It’s more discreet.

  6. thegnukid Says:

    nursemyra – a road littered with broken glass and nails…and me in bare feet… but, yes, irrespective, starting a wonderful new life!

    hisqueen – yep. needing to practice that “…not part of the divorce…” line. stay tuned! but thanks for the good words.

    UB – …and she was so busy apologizing for not calling back that she never apologized for being late! and, yeah, she’d be all over me with her own lawyer if i missed a payment.

    stephanie – ‘hooray’s are in order, but a bit premature. still at that ‘almost divorced’ stage… (and, yes, irrespective, a HUGE weight is being lifted!).

    kyknoord – if anything is going to be framed, it’ll be my nut sack over her gilded fireplace mantle. but i do like that e-mailing the scanned copies! stand by for yours!

  7. silverstar98121 Says:

    Fortunately, in Washington, only one of us had to show up as long as the papers were signed. I showed up, he didn’t. Papers aren’t framed but I have them around here someplace.

  8. daisyfae Says:

    nice of the attorney to prepare you for the day… frustrating….

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