At work, I have a new next door neighbor. She started out pretty quiet…sort of seeing how the office ran, who she could talk to, who she should avoid. It got so I just thought she was the shy, quiet type.
Until today…
The New Lady: “Well, I’m going to get a massage. Everyone deserves a good dick massage now and then.”
The GnuKid: [blink… blink… blink… ]
The New Lady: “Yeah, dick is a little stooped over guy…”
The GnuKid: “Ummm…”
The New Lady: “He’s my massage therapist… Dick… 73-year old masseur. What did you think I meant.”
The GnuKid: “Uhhhh…”
The New Lady: [giggling]
Yep, I’m going to have to keep an eye on this one…
Tags: battle of wits begins, dick massage, quiet waters run deep, stooped over dick
The Wilds of Ohio 
April 24, 2009 at 01:24 |
Actually, I wouldn’t mind a good dick massage every once in a while. Either by Dick, or on what passes for a dick on females.
April 24, 2009 at 01:25 |
Which reminds me, I need new batteries for my vibrator. TMI?
April 24, 2009 at 08:59 |
This sort of thing will snap you out of it quicker than a cup of hot coffee spilled on your lap.
April 24, 2009 at 13:58 |
She’s obviously been dying to use that line ever since she joined the company. I’ll bet she changes jobs just so that she has a whole lot of new people to use it on.
April 24, 2009 at 14:30 |
I foresee trouble … 🙂
April 24, 2009 at 16:51 |
gnu kid has gnu lady at office as playmate! yay! get out the blocks, crayons and anti-aircraft missiles!
April 24, 2009 at 19:43 |
Jaysus! Wouldn’t a 73 year old dick be just a bit wrinkly and of no use in a massage? I’m just sayin’……
April 24, 2009 at 23:49 |
Ahhh….she waited in silence…surveying her surroundings…plotting in her mind the exact moment in which she would strike. Who would be the recipient of her zinger? Who else but the incomparable Gnu?
She has chosen her target wisely…but what is the next move? Is she a one hit wonder? Or is there an arsenal of 6th grade bathroom jokes underneath her calm demeanor?
Only time will tell.
April 25, 2009 at 03:18 |
Dude, she’s totally in to you. Here’s the move.
Step 1: Get in your office and get buck-ass naked.
Step 2: Call her and ask if she could come to your office. Tell her you have something to show her; it’s a new project she needs to work on.
Step 3: When she gets there, tell her it isn’t fair that she’s been getting Dick massages; it’s now time to return the favor.
Step 4: I guarantee that you will either get laid or get fired! Probably laid! She’s so totally in to you!!!
April 25, 2009 at 07:34 |
@UK: Like I said, I see trouble coming … [sorry, couldn’t resist that last bit 🙂 ]
April 26, 2009 at 08:19 |
*schnort* at least she’s got a good sense of humour. Richard probably doesn’t think it’s that funny.