Womanhood

I am in the midst of struggling…yeah, that’d be a good descriptor word…struggling through a long term weight-loss goal.  Proud to say that in the past two years I’ve lost over 536 pounds!  Okay, 500 of those were the over-and-over lost pounds…lose 5 pounds, gain 9 pounds, lose 10, gain 8, etc., but still, I’m going in the right direction.

On a recent long drive, I called the Girl Child to chat.  Here’s a snippet of that conversation –

GC:  So, how is the diet going?

Me:  Not so good of late.  I feel like I’ve been foraging and scavenging way too much.  Eating all the time.  I’m blasting past my daily calorie goals.  Makes me grumpy.

GC:  Sounds as if you are PMS-ing.*

Me:  Yeah, I thought as much myself…as good an explanation as any.

GC:  Dad, I’m so proud!  You’re finally becoming a woman!

After a good chuckle between us, my mind flashed back to those old training films from the 1950s.  The ones with names like “Syphilis and You”, “Prom Night Pregnancy”, and “Mom, Why Do I Feel Funny In My Basement?”.  You know the ones…the family or girl or boy express an oversimplified problem, then cock their heads quizzically.  Then the plastic narrator man with the narrow tie… or sometimes it’s the scientist or doctor looking guy in the lab coat, who always started his lines, with, “So, you’re <insert issue or problem here>…”.  I shared this with the Girl Child, explaining this, then shared, in that plastic narrator voice—

Me:  “So, you’re finally becoming a woman.  Congratulations!  Now, there will be many changes over the next months… let’s talk about them…”

GC:  Okay, stop!  Now!  Ewww….

…well…she started it…

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*Amazingly, this is not the first time I’ve heard this.

Tags: 1950s bad training films, mouths of babes, PMS, where did she learn that humor?