Home, Toto, Home

No, we’re not in Kansas… that’s where them damn westerners live, unlike the decent, civilized folks here in The Wilds of Ohio.

i’ve not lived alone since university… and can you really call that living “alone” when i was in a dormitory the entire time with friends living mere feet away and all meals provided by a full time staff.  Okay, yeah, there was a short period after school and before getting married to The Spouse… but that was almost like an extension of living at college.

… and here i am, days away from living alone. 

Yep, an offer I made on a condo was accepted.  Accepted with provisos, but accepted nonetheless.  If the Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be closing on Friday.  And will be moving in next week.

When I went to the house inspection to make sure the place was habitable, the place was already vacated by the owner.  Without all of the furniture there, the blemishes and dings not seen on previous walkthroughs were glaringly obvious.  But, luckily, no issues which would prevent the contract from going forward.  One of the biggies found was that the installed microwave was on its last legs, with the top of the inside noticeably melted and blackened.  Hmmm…. hold that thought, dear reader.

While leaving at end of the inspection, I noticed a couple of my new neighbors and went over to introduce myself.  Friendly folks who seemed very pleased that I was moving in. She continued – – –

Lady Neighbor:  “We’re so glad you’re moving in.  This is a quiet neighborhood with great neighbors.  And it will be nice to have you here.  The lady who owned the home before you was… ummm… unique.”

GnuKid (feeling a bit nervous as he has been accused of being ‘unique’ as well):  “Unique?  How so?”

Lady Neighbor (a bit sheepishly):  “Well, you’ll forgive me.  I was a school teacher and they always taught us to use non-confrontational words… like unique… to describe people who…. okay, okay… we called her ‘Crazy Mary’!”

Ah-ha!  The microwave explained!

I demurred from asking further, probing questions because, though I may be unique, I don’t consider myself ‘crazy’. 

Right, gentle readers?  Right?  Ummm… Hello?  I said I wasn’t ‘Crazy’… that was your cue to nod vigorously and agree with me.  Hello?

Anyway, I’m about to enter this venture with little experience in interior decorating… and not too much common sense in that area either.  Color coordination and I don’t get along well.  Neither do I get along well with choosing and matching furniture styles (though with the expected budget i’ll have, “Nouveau Lawn Chair” may be a recurring theme throughout).  I’ve always considered myself “Eclectic”, so this will be an adventure in Eclecticism. 

So, wish me luck and here are some pictures I took of the empty place during the house inspection…

The Great Room

The Great Room

Yeah, I'm gonna have to paint that over...

Yeah, I will need to repaint

The Study (Col Mustard w/ the lead pipe)

The Study (Col Mustard w/ the lead pipe)

Second Bedroom (for kidlet visits, hopefully)

Second Bedroom (for kidlet visits...or you?)

My Bedroom

My Bedroom


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24 Responses to “Home, Toto, Home”

  1. leavingevangeline Says:

    Well, that IS a great room! Haha! I know, I know…I’m hilarious!

    Seriously, it looks like a very nice home! I hope you are happy and comfortable there. You will likely enjoy living alone. (Feel free to leave your shoes anywhere you like!)

    I’m sure you’ll end up with a lovely decor…possibly Bachelor Chic?

    Congrats on your new home!!!

  2. silverstar98121 Says:

    If I had a choice between living with the god-awful beige in the great room and the red in the kitchen, I’d take the red in the kitchen. But that’s me, I like bright colors. The only good thing about the beige is that it’s hard to mess up color coordination, everything goes with it. Good luck, and glad you got a home.

  3. Dolce Says:

    Wow. Cool abode! And much, *much* vigorous nodding. Haha.

  4. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:


    Except for the red in the kitchen, it’s not too bad…
    If you stick with a neutral paint (greyish green, blues, taupes) you should be okay with decor…

    It looks like a nice place.
    (As long as you don’t end up with a coke snorting donkey)

  5. UncleKeith Says:

    Nice! You need a bed, a big screen TV and DVD for football and porn, and you’ll also need a computer for porn, as well. Everything else is not really important.

  6. thegnukid Says:

    evangeline – oh, definitely ‘bachelor chic’… and a work in progress for quite some time.

    silverstar – yep, that’s been tickling my brain… i want to have a bit of color. just not sure that shade of red is right…

    dolce – thanks… and your *nodding* makes me a happy boy!

    stephanie – i like the lamp too… but, damn, you’re 3 days too late on the advice… the order from “Donkeys r Us” is already in. hope they take returns.

    UncleKeith – when the student is ready, the master appears… i read your advice with rapt attention to what to do, nodding often. now, i have two of the ‘bachelor basics’ already, but need to work on the other two…

  7. daisyfae Says:

    Do i smell a condo-warming party? i’ll organize it! HEY, EVERYONE! Party at gnu-kids! He’s buying! Just bring a fondue pot, some leftover candles that smell funny, and goat chow! Oh, and used DVD porn apparently!

    Congrats on the new digs! Get used to the debt – it’s the American Way!

  8. imeantno Says:

    Gnukid – I have a fondu pot you’re welcome to. But Miss Daisyfae I think you still have the only porn* I own and it’s on VHS.

    *if it’s got Ron Jeremy in it, it’s porn, right?

  9. lucidlunatic Says:

    Hmm… I have a feeling that I’ve been the crazy neighbor people talk about. But this could just be because I’ve been seen running in the snow and hail without a shirt on…. the activity keeps me warm. Really. And the dog that barks all the time is just schizophrenic, not abused.

    I’m even less adept at matching colors, etc. than you- with the exception of the (water?) stains on some of the walls and carpets, everything looks fine. Even the kitchen. And as for the stains, that’s what furniture is for.

  10. leavingevangeline Says:

    Hey Daisyfae: I’ll be at that party! Gnu, porn and melted cheese??? How could I miss it? (Especially the cheese part. Ummm…cheeeeese!)

    Gnu: Bachelor chic is sexy. 😉

  11. thegnukid Says:

    daisyfae – oh my… should i hold off on having the carpets cleaned until after the party? yes, definitely there will be a party or three… thousand… oh, and little Stella prefers Purina-brand goat chow…

    imeantno – ahhh, i’m fondu, too… okay, that was a stretch. but thank you nonetheless. i’ll be taking stock soon of what i have and not.

    lucidlunatic – good grief, i hope it’s water that’s stained your walls and carpets… but, your comment on craziness struck a chord. i’ve been known to wander to the mailbox in the middle of winter wearing only boxer shorts. let the craziness begin.

    evangeline – whee!! i’m looking forward to it… now i’m DEFINITELY not cleaning the carpets until afterwards. and i may have a permanent name for this place now… “Welcome to chez ‘Gnu, porn, and melted cheese’!”.

  12. silverstar98121 Says:

    You need two fondue pots for the party, Gnu. One for cheese and one for chocolate.

  13. Parenthesis Says:

    I like the look of that spare room. And you know what, since I will be in the US early in the new year …. 🙂 [although Orlando is a teeny bit far from you, yes?]

  14. Parenthesis Says:

    Unfortunate pairing of cheese and porn in that last comment you made young man. My mind headed straight for the gutter …. 😈

  15. UncleKeith Says:

    New porn, only. Used porn, unless it was owned by a lady and a lady only, has a residual, and sticky, downside.

  16. Parenthesis Says:

    I see Keith’s does as well 😈

  17. nursemyra Says:

    if I nod any harder my head will fall off. and I love the red kitchen. live dangerously kid. always avoid beige xx

  18. thegnukid Says:

    silverstar – how about one of those chocolate fountains? those are fun, too. don’t have either, but….

    parenthesis – and by then, i might actually have it furnished. (yeah, [grump], Orlando is quite a ways away… but i can hope and look for opportunities).

    parenthesis again – it’s quite comfortable down here in the gutter. lots of great company

    uncle keith – speaking of great company in the gutter… dbut doesn’t the new vs. used porn depend on the lady and how the porn was used… or does it really matter? sheesh, now my mind is reeling.

    parenthesis part trois – it’s a great gutter!

    nursemyra – not the ‘red’ that bothers me… it’s the shade of red… too muddy. need brighter red! but, i’ll likely get some help in picking out colors… and beige won’t be there.

  19. silverstar98121 Says:

    Color advice: Do not paint anything grayish-green. My apartment is painted that color, and it is the most light absorbing, depressing color in the universe. I would kill to have a beige (and I hate beige) or a warm candleight white in here. And pink or mauve in my bedroom.

  20. Parenthesis Says:

    Grayish green is the story of my life. Don’t work for a multi-national that has green as their primary brand colour. Walls, floors, carpets, even the loo’s are some sickly shade of green. And lately they’re liking lime, which is even worse ….

  21. Parenthesis Says:

    I heart your red kitchen though.

  22. Megan Says:

    Congrats on the new place. I’m sure there will be some fun memories (or blurry memories) there over the years.

    I’ve gotten myself one of these blogs…here’s the link if you want to swing by sometime: http://5685meganlindsay.blogspot.com/

  23. azahar Says:

    Will there be “after” pics as well?

    Looks like a great space.

  24. thegnukid Says:

    silverstar – i was thinking a fine puce or split pea soup green… NOT

    parenthesis – the only lime i like is in my Corona beer

    parenthesis 2 – need to brighten it up a bit, but it’s growing on me. painting is way down the road from getting internet (borrowing from Dear Friend currently) and finishing unpacking

    megan – kewl.. will check out the site when i get internet (promised Tuesday)… and i’ll look for good memories there, blurry or otherwise

    azahar – pretty soon… have to find my camera again…

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