Visiting my brother again. Hoping for the best, fearing the worst as far as time left with him. Other family members are also wandering in. Was lucky this trip to share the visit with two cousins and a niece. It was very heartening to see how happy it made my brother to have such company.
After a bit of libation (yeah.. yeah… take those feigned shocked looks off of your faces), we began to reminisce a bit. Being the “oops” child, I was late on the scene compared to my brother and the two cousins. As such, I listened with rapt pleasure at some of the stories. A couple were about Pap-pap… my dad’s dad.
Pap-pap was a farmer born and bred. My cousins recounted some things he would say. I’ve no clue if his homey phrases were his or stolen from his grandfather, but there were a couple doozies that were repeated with great glee.
Now, not really being a farm boy myself, I’m struggling to understand the second two I’ll share here. But the first? Having a son of my own… heck, with Daughter Child as well… I truly understand this one:
– Send a boy, get a boy. Send two boys, get a half boy. Send three boys, get no boy at all.
Yep… and having been (well… some say still am at heart) a boy, I do know this one. Get a couple kids together on a job and they’re more interested in finding the toad or dipping feet in the stream or, when older, talking about girls.
Again, the other two I’m struggling to understand. Perhaps someone out there in the blogosphere can help me. These two phrases were usually provided when Pap-pap wanted to watch the baseball game in peace or just wanted the youngsters out of the house. He would stare the offending child or children in the eyes and say one of the following (I’ve actually seen both said one right after the other to a particularly annoying cousin):
– What do you want to do? Suck an egg?
_ Why don’t you get two sticks and go fight a hen turd?
[Big Grin] That last one is my favorite. I’m surely going to save that for my senior-er years to bamboozle and confuse the kids bothering me.
But, those last two also make me wonder if Pap-pap was attacked by a chicken when he was little… such angst against poultry….
There may have been more said, but, given the Scotch that was going down much too easily, was all I could remember.
Next time? A tape recorder…
Tags: charming aphorisms, Dad's Dad, Family, farmer logic, pugilistic hen turds, thoughts
The Wilds of Ohio 
October 13, 2008 at 11:02 |
aaahhh “suck an egg”… haven’t heard that in a while.
(basically an F.O.D)
I’ll have to remember that when I get shitty service.
I’ve always been a fan of “The hurrieder I become, the behinder I get.”
October 13, 2008 at 11:03 |
and, (excuse the spelling) “Itty-wah-hup-hup-muck-muck-na! *clap clap*”
Rumor has it that’s Native for “Get a move on before I kick your ass into the car.”
October 13, 2008 at 12:18 |
Anyone ever tell you something like, “Boy, you don’t know shit from shine-ola!”?
8)
October 13, 2008 at 12:36 |
Since these are rural sayings, I don’t suppose the Urban Dictionary would be of any help. If I recall correctly, go suck an egg was a mild insult. The other, I haven’t a clue.
October 13, 2008 at 13:09 |
Rob- my uncles always say that! It occurred to me, just recently, to google shine-ola. The saying makes sense now!
My East TX relatives have lots of funny sayings…like, “If you don’t behave, I’m gonna slap your Momma!” or “Yeah, you’re pretty…pretty ugly and pretty up to stay that way” or, similarly, “You are funny…funny looking”.
My family is a loving one.
October 13, 2008 at 15:05 |
Did he ever say, in reference to a woman, “she could suck corn ears through a picket fence?”
October 13, 2008 at 17:12 |
I can’t say this is verbatim but I believe they mean “leave”.
Hope your visit goes well. I am resisting a last visit and since Dad insists that he is “fine” I have decided to take him at his word though I know it is likely I might never see him alive again. It is a preferable alternative to deathbed.
Dad is getting tons of visits these days. It’s interesting how dying can bring people to your door that under normal circumstances are content to get news of you second or third hand. But it makes Dad happy and that is all that matters.
October 13, 2008 at 18:49 |
growing up? all i heard from the older redneck folks was “what-r you lookin’ at, shithead?” not exactly a witticism, but it meant “run” in my world…
October 13, 2008 at 22:43 |
stephanie – “F.O.D.”? help me on that one. and, yeah, i remember that “hurrieder i am, the behinder i get”. glad to hear others still use those.
rob – why, yes, just the other day by my boss at work… dammit… :->
silverstar – sheesh, why didn’t i think of that. ooo, two definitions for ‘suck an egg’, one not so good…
leavingevangeline – isn’t it amazing what we let our families get away with talking to us in ways that we’d whoop up on a stranger if they said it. still, those made me laugh.
beaverboosh – hmmm… nope. which given he grew lots of corn, is a bit surprising. maybe we just had the wrong kind of women there, huh?
annie – yeah, i was afraid they meant “leave”. my cousins concurred, but still held out hope there was another (though undefined) meaning. visit with brother went okay. he’s slipping, but slowly—and certainly enjoyed the visit with us all.
daisyfae – hmmm… if i used that at the office, do you think they’d let me alone? or call the cops on me?
October 14, 2008 at 09:59 |
Ah, who was that who posted yesterday? The opportunity to use a swear and I passed it by!
F.O.D= fuck off (and) die
October 14, 2008 at 21:55 |
stephanie – ah! of course. i should’ve known. and makes total sense to the underlying meaning of “get the hell out of my face and just go away”.
October 15, 2008 at 04:35 |
My granny likes saying things like “time itself will tell.” And “procrastination is the thief of time”…I’d rather have hen turds.
October 15, 2008 at 22:13 |
dolce – laughin’! yes, m’am, me too. but granny sounds as if she’s got lots on the ball… maybe too much! she’s been into the catnip, maybe?