Entertainment in The Wilds

Okay, so here I am on the frontier of a whole lot of not much – flat plains and lots of good old, wholesome, middle America common sense.

…but we sure can have some fun…


Woman Wearing Cow Suit Charged With Disorderly Conduct

MIDDLETOWN — A Middletown woman is accused of being disorderly in public — while wearing a cow suit.


A police report filed about the incident said Michelle Allen allegedly chased children in her neighborhood while wearing the suit on Monday evening.


Allen also urinated on a neighbor’s front porch, the report said, and was warned by officers to go home and stay there.


Allen was charged with disorderly conduct after an officer found her causing traffic problems on North Verity Parkway.


The officer’s report stated that Allen was verbally abusive to him on the trip to jail and smelled of alcohol.


The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit.


That last line makes me pause and, in the words of Stephanie, give a questioning “Barooo?”. 

Does this happen enough in The Wilds that the police forces just yawn at ‘yet another woman in a cow suit’?  Hmmm…

Nonetheless, I’m thinking that, once I can find me a bull costume, that woman and I can do some down home fun partying…


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12 Responses to “Entertainment in The Wilds”

  1. Dolce Says:

    I can do nothing but roll my eyes. Firstly at the story. Secondly at your bull at the end.


    Sense of humour? Tick!

    All is not lost, Gnu friend. You’re surviving!

  2. daisyfae Says:

    it wasn’t me. WASN’T ME i tell you…. my suit is a JERSEY cow… subtle, gentle and less harsh…

  3. The Unbearable Banishment Says:

    Fun fact: There’s a Middletown in every state of the union. It’s the most mundane and, yet, most commonly used name for a community.

  4. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:


  5. leavingevangeline Says:

    Good thing she wasn’t around here behaving like that. Someone woulda corraled her and shipped her off to the nearest slaughterhouse.

  6. Parenthesis Says:

    Now that’s classic. Getting arrested for wearing a cow suit and peeing on the neighbour’s porch. Whatever happened to turning the udder cheek? 😆

  7. silverstar98121 Says:

    Well, that’s better than what I hear some people get up to in the Wilds of Ohio. Although I wouldn’t want anybody pissing on my porch, either.

  8. anniegirl1138 Says:

    Oh yeah, we Midwestern women and our things for cow suits are fairly well known in law enforcement circles.

  9. thegnukid Says:

    dolce – sorry, i’m still in mid-groan from that one. bull, indeed…

    daisyfae – nope, i’m not buying it. i want eyewitnesses and alibis for where you were that day.

    t.u.b. – and there’s my new thing learned for the day (always try to do so)… i would’ve thought Springfield or Washington or the like.

    stephanie – yep! exactly (and well said, might i add)

    leavingevangeline – you say that like it’s a ‘bad’ thing.

    parenthesis – owwww… i’d just gotten done groaning from dolce’s… now i’m off again

    silverstar – yeah, that’s pretty disgusting… at least there’s a bit of humor in a cow lady.

    anniegirl – i KNEW it… police see it most every day, so are bored by women in cow suits. now i’m wondering how to get the cow suit concession in my town.

  10. Megan Says:

    The star you put over my face does not do me justice. I mean, the star you put over someone else’s face…someone who is not me. I did not run amok urinating on porches and scaring children.

  11. thegnukid Says:

    Megan – what *should* i have put over your face to do you justice? a trapezoid? diamond? sponge-bob squarepants picture? a talent such as yours should have the appropriate face cover…

  12. gullybogan Says:

    I think it’s fairly obvious why she was wearing a cow suit.

    I’m somewhat disappointed in the police officer involved in the investigation. What do they teach in police college nowadays?

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