Must Share Economics

Those following the news know that the US is having a teensy little economic issue. So much so that President George “WTF am I doing” Bush came on TV last night hollering ‘The sky is falling! The sky is falling!”. Actually, he was trying to rally support for a $700 Billion bailout of our financial institutions, including an $85 Billion buyout of insurance/mortgage giant AIG. There’s been much grumbling here in The Wilds about the lunacy of this approach. Why are we working so hard to fix a private firm when there are so many in poverty that seem to be ignored.

Lo and behold, the next day in the e-mail box was an ‘alternative’ recovery plan that I thought was too good not to pass along… it is brilliant in its simplicity. It has more PROS than CONS. So, clearly, our Congress would reject it outright. Such a pity…

I have no idea who this guy is that originated the plan, so can’t give him his ‘props’. But, if you’re out there… I’d vote for you.


The Birk Economic Recovery Plan

Hi Pals,

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.

So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.

So… divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon. That equals $425,000.00.


My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

* Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.

* Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads.

* Put away money for college – it’ll be there.

* Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

* Buy a new car – create jobs.

* Invest in the market – capital drives growth.

* Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves.

* Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else.

Remember this is for EVERY adult U S Citizen 18+ –

including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers, and every other company that is cutting back.

And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…

instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 (“vote buy”) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!


As for AIG – liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?


I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC .

And remember…

The Birk Plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ah-h-h… I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,


T. J. Birkenmeier,

A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

P.S. Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how best to use $85 BILLION!


Editor’s Addendum:  Yeah, don’t i feel like the foolish shit for not doing the math ahead of time.  I just thought it was so cool when i read it.  And, believe it or not, i’m typically the guy who calls bullshit and researches the Snopes site when people send me stupid “The Dog Ate My Grandmother” warnings.  Then to go and say I”d vote for him?  [heavy sigh]  Mea Culpa… i guess i am just the typical American voter… voting on emotions instead of intellect.  Dumb fuck.  But, nonetheless, I DO truly believe the money should come to the people and not the corporations.  So, ultimately, no apologies… but I still admit I’m a twit…  [blush

And, yep, lots of other folks had the same idea (and better math)….


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14 Responses to “Must Share Economics”

  1. We Deserve It Dividend « Miklwald Says:

    […] […]

  2. leavingevangeline Says:

    Yes, I had this forwarded to me too. If only it were that easy…sigh.

    I think…maybe…the sky IS falling! Ruh-roh.

  3. Kym Says:

    I loved this idea but then I checked the math…sigh, he slipped a few zeroes and every adult only gets $425. A nice small check but not enough to make much of a difference.

  4. silverstar98121 Says:

    Sadly Kym is right. But we’d all get $3500 if they gave us the $700 Billion. But the principle is the same. They should be bailing out the people losing their homes and going bankrupt from medical bills, not bailing out lying, cheating, stealing financiers who are probably cheating on their taxes anyway.

  5. Dolce Says:

    Fukkin’ GENIUS!

  6. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    pfft, don’t you know that the only way to fix a problem is to throw money at it?
    Like, duh.

    And I would totally vote for “T. J. Birkenmeier”.

  7. Rob Says:

    Slipping zeroes? That dude must be a natural born politician!

  8. The Unbearable Banishment Says:

    Yea, the math smelled a little fishy to me, too. Well, it’s a nice thought and no worse than what’s actually going to happen.

  9. thegnukid Says:

    Check the editor’s addendum at the end… MATH IS HARD

    Miklwald – yep,,glad you nailed the math… i linked your site in the addendum

    leavingevanngeline – maybe Chicken Little wasn’t all that wrong… i’d invest in economic umbrellas (if there are such things)

    kym – yep, not much for each of us… but with all of us spending that, that’s gotta help the economy…

    silverstar – you got it! that’s the bottom line to this all. in a free market, if a company fails, it fails… let’s pay attention to the poor schmuck who’s lucky to get fed on any given day..

    dolce – fukkin’ something… we’re in for some dark times for a bit. and likely deserve it.

    stephanie – or the alternative–drink heavily. i’m leaning towards the alternative… especially before actually voting.

    rob – what’s a missing zero amongst friends… or politicians.

    t.u.b. – a nice thought and unlikely to remotely happen… but math is hard!

  10. leavingevangeline Says:

    I think an economic umbrella would be (arrrgh, matey!) gold!! I’m gonna cash out and buy some gold bars and bury them in my yard.

    Or, not.

  11. leavingevangeline Says:

    I don’t really know what that pirate thing was about. I’ve seen one too many Johnny Depp movies lately…

  12. Parenthesis Says:

    If only ……….. !

  13. Empress of Stank Says:

    Hey kid! I like the idea, and since I refuse to do any math, it made perfect sense to me! Down with The Man! Up with The People! Ya ya!

  14. thegnukid Says:

    leavingevangeline – into the mushrooms a bit, dear? remember, the pirates killed whoever buried their treasure, to keep the secret safe…

    leavingevangeline – understandable… i just saw the first movie again recently and was amazed…

    parenthesis – someday, all my magical powers will come to maturation and all my wishes and dreams will come true… now, if i can only get this pig to fly…

    Her Royal Stankiness – that’s right… Power to the People!! Anarchy rules!! Let’s march on something for something… or something…

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