Mother Nature Reminder

The Wilds of Ohio is known for the occasional tornado, which is unsurpassed in delivering dramatic damage, but over a small area (“Auntie Em!! Auntie Em!!”) .

But this weekend, we were visited by what was left of the fury that was Hurricane Ike and I learned that hurricanes… even leftover weakling versions of hurricanes… can create quite the mess over wide areas. Here’s a neat animation showing what hurricane intensity levels can do… (and winds in The Wilds were below category 1, yet still getting damage… )

The neighborhood looks like a war zone for trees. I have 5 trees in close proximity to the house and, luckily, didn’t have a one of them smack a hole in it. That’s not to say stuff didn’t fall. The winds, topping out around 70 mph, caused much damage, leaving me with at least 3 branches over six inches thick that were on the ground… hell, I say ‘branches’, though they could’ve been tall trees in their own right if planted in the ground.

The most fun were a couple branches that didn’t break off, but sort of split and were hanging by shards of cellulose. Wanting to make sure they didn’t fall and (a) kill someone, (b) mash a hole in the house, (c) nope, still no ‘c’, or (d) take out other branches creating a wooden avalanche, I decided the branches needed to come down. Unfortunately, with so much tree destruction around, getting the professional tree trimming businesses to come out is currently impossible. So, up a ladder I go.

Didja ever see those lumberjack contests on ESPN where they time cutting through three foot thick logs? And winning times are in mere seconds? Well, that was JUST like me… except it was an eight inch branch… and my ‘winning time’ was about 15 minutes with me sweating and sucking air at the end.

The worst part was trying to cut the branch at an odd angle with a small bow saw* without falling and cracking my skull. After a few minutes of futile semi-sawing, I found a position that gave me a good angle to cut. It was about 5 minutes in when I noticed that, though I was NOT cutting the branch I was sitting on (a la Wiley Coyote), I was sitting on a branch that was dead as a doornail. Duh! Ya see? This is why I got a college degree… I’m not cut out for doing labor that could kill me for lack of common sense.

Some very kind neighbors came by and helped drag the branches out to the curb. There now sits a stack of branches out there that could easily be several small trees… or one big one. And, thankfully, the city is stepping up to disposing the tree carcasses… my tax dollars finally at work!

I feel quite lucky… some in the area are still without electricity, two days later. Some in the area have lots of damage to houses and, obviously, trees. Some were injured and, tragically, some even killed by falling debris. And this was a half strength remnants of a hurricane that hit the Wilds of Ohio… those folks on the coast caught the brunt of it.

Don’t fuck with Mother Nature… she’s a mean bitch who knows when to remind us we’re just guests on this planet…

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*No, I don’t have a power chainsaw… never had much use for one and, quite frankly, I shouldn’t be trusted wielding something that can slice off a hand in less than a second… unless i’m wearing a hockey mask…

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11 Responses to “Mother Nature Reminder”

  1. The Unbearable Banishment Says:

    If nothing else, you’ve gained a whole new depth of understanding that you can employ the next time you watch storm coverage on the Weather Channel.

  2. Rob Says:

    I got one word fer ya gnukid: “Sawz-all”. Less dangerous than a chainsaw and less effort than a bow saw. Mind you, ya gotta trail an extension cord up the ladder with ya.

    …Mother Nature… she’s a mean bitch who knows when to remind us we’re just guests on this planet…

    I respectfully disagree. Humans simply forget how puny and insignificant they are. When they get too full of themselves, it’s simply time for a reminder…

    Humans must learn to work and get along with Mother Nature and give up those futile notions that they can have mastery over the elements.

    Pshaw!

  3. silverstar98121 Says:

    I don’t envy you. We get those kinds of winds it seems like every winter. Here they take down whole trees, because the trees don’t root deeply (they don’t need to, there’s plenty of water). And people are without power for days. In an area that has mostly electric heat. Fortunately, so far, the power hasn’t gone out in downtown Seattle where I live, but I have to put up with the wind trying to blow in my biggest window. And those west winds are cold. But then again, I could be on the other side of the building where their windows are pitched just right to catch the nor’easters out of the Fraser River Valley. Freeze the nuts off a brass monkey. Heating bills are significantly higher on that side of the building.

  4. thegnukid Says:

    t.u.b. – it’s just one of those things i’d prefer to enjoy from a distance… and the Weather Channel is cool, thank you very much. [grin]

    rob – yep, better said. we’re too big for our britches, but we do belong here. we just need to learn to live in the world, not make the world ours to live in. But, that said, it still rocks being at the top of the food chain

    silverstar – yeah, i do realize there are some who have to deal with this on a more continual basis… the chapparal (sp?) winds and the ones you mentioned. it just came as quite the surreal shock to what i’m used to around here. so, may i wish you warm nuts on your monkey this winter!

  5. leavingevangeline Says:

    Yeah, I shook hands with Ike as he passed over my city. Although he decimated parts of my state, he didn’t do much damage in my area. Odd…being that I’m only a few hundred miles from where it came ashore. Might be that we were on the “friendlier” side of the storm…the West side.

    I have friends and family that are in some kinda trouble though. No electricity, water, etc. They can’t get back to their homes. Sad.

    Anyhow, I ramble. Yes, Ike was a mean mofo.

  6. leavingevangeline Says:

    Oh, and I had a cousin that was a professional tree trimmer guy and he fell out of a tree and died. True story.

    So BE CAREFUL next time you climb a tree! 🙂

  7. daisyfae Says:

    “sucking air at the end”

    kinky. very, very kinky… pics?

  8. silverstar98121 Says:

    Sorry, Gnu, didn’t mean to step all over your story. Those things are bad wherever and whenever they show up. And Rob’s right, it’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.

  9. thegnukid Says:

    leavingevangeline – on the West Si-ede, huh? well, i’m very glad you didn’t get a lot of problems where you were. i know the Texas coast was pretty whooped up on. my heart goes out to those folks

    leavingevangeline again – oh, NOW you tell me… (and sorry to hear about your cousing)

    daisyfae – … yep… and videos… i’m thinking i’ll auction them off. want to start the bidding?

    silverstar – no worries… i didn’t take it that way. i think we’re all on the same page that Mom Nature can be a cranky ol’ lady.

  10. leavingevangeline Says:

    GNU!!! I can’t believe you said “West Si-ede”…cuz I was gonna say that…but thought it might be lost on the reader (you). I should give you more credit. Hah!

    Oh, and I can never say “true story” without singing it to myself in that country voice from MTV’s Real World…second season. “Tah-rue stoh-rey”! (Have I lost you yet)?

  11. thegnukid Says:

    evangaline – just don’t really know how to spell it, but hell yeah, “West Si-ede”. Never really watched much Real World, but do know that one

    i try and keep up, for an ol’ geezer [laughin’]

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