(N.B.: This post was written under the influence of a very fine Irish Whiskey [Jameson’s]… this is on the advice of a very good friend who suggested my words would come easier if my mind was lubricated with libation).
I write this as a purge of my own experience of the events of yesterday, so I can better remember. Also, I’m thinking someone somewhere may see this as being an example of hope in a similar situation they may be going through.
I hesitate to be hopeful myself, but find it difficult not to consider the glimmer of hope brightening for a more amicable settlement with The Wife. This was based on an emotionally draining, but positive sit-down with her yesterday to see if we could actually negotiate who gets what.
Anticipating the meeting with fear of a very negative emotional event, I nonetheless decided to apply some of my training as a facilitator and approached the meeting from a systematic and logical perspective. I started off stating my goals and objectives for the sit-down (and, no, the goal was not “GnuKid wants to keep from throttling you when you go off to inane conclusions about impossibilities”).
Actually, my first goal was to make her feel more comfortable that her financial state after the Divorce would not leave her scraping the worms off the sidewalk for her supper. My second goal was that we could, as stated in an earlier post, avoid buying our lawyers new BMWs.
Discussions went fairly well, albeit with quite a few bumps. I forced myself to fully listen to her questions without wanting to yell at her to grow a brain. Fairly successful there, too. At no time did I blurt out that she’s been a life sucking vampire draining me of happiness and joy in my life. Aren’t you proud of me?
And the hopeful news was that was actually semi-agreeable to the concessions I made. She repeated that this was all too confusing for her and she wanted to walk it by her lawyer (GnuKid’s blood runs cold and a bit of vomit rises in his throat). But… for the moment… she seemed willing to negotiate.
At the end? I thanked her for her patience in listening to me and being open about her fears and concerns. She thanked me as well, then (admittedly a bit surprisingly to me) asked if it would be too uncomfortable for me to give her a hug. Wow… of course, I did so. There was hope…
…there IS hope…