separated… on my way to a divorce… it’s lonely at night… i count the ceiling tiles in my motel room, pondering how to count the ones on the edges that aren’t a full tile… listening to the clock tick and the faucet drips to see if i can find a rhythm… hearing the neighbor peeing in his toilet, the walls being so thin… wondering whether my life will eve be normal again… HA! what is normal?…

Okay, enough of that tripe. And with apologies to all the cheesy writers and singers who used cheesy lines like that.

but, yeah, i’m in a motel to help defuse emotions while The Wife and i sort out the best way forward – divorce or dissolution. will talk more on that in a future post. i’m not finding i have enough time to lay around feeling sorry for myself and count ceiling tiles. well, for one, there are no ceiling tiles here. but, mostly, it’s because i still have stuff to do that keeps me busy and, admittedly, happy at times.

there’s the obligatory work. i still have to pay bills. but it is a distraction at worst and satisfying at best. then there’s the hunt for a new place to live. The Wife decided she wants to stay in the house, at least until the Daughter Person finishes university. i’ll likely find a temporary rental, then look for something more permanent (knowing full well, through recent experience, that “permanent” has no meaning other than “…for now”). then there’s exercise, even more necessary now that i’m eating out quite a bit more. that also means i’m more likely to cave in to desires for the unhealthy fast foods. thus, the exercise. biking, walking, and even Latin dance aerobics, which just makes me smile whenever i do them. and my friends are very supportive… here on the web, especially, but at work and play as well… i am blessed.

all will be fine… it’s just a transition from one phase of life to another. and trying to take care of myself in the process.

but, this is a cheap motel and i can hear the neighbor peeing in the toilet… [shaking my head]… ewww… at least i don’t have to listen to them having hot and noisy monkey lovin’… yet…

off to work and another day into my future…


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15 Responses to “Transitions”

  1. Dolce Says:

    Damn those hot monkeys.

    Unless they’re playing circus tunes and flinging poop, what good are they?


  2. Stephanie of Stopbouncing Says:

    Latin Dance Aerobics?
    Damnit, why don’t we have anything like that in WNY?!

  3. kyknoord Says:

    Perhaps you could subcontract the ceiling tile counting duties?

  4. Rob Says:

    Best wishes gnukid. Stiff upper lip and all that. Eh, wot?

  5. leavingevangeline Says:

    Hey Gnu! Well,you sound like you are doing okay right now. I can’t begin to imagine how odd it must feel to drive to a hotel instead of home after work…but you are keeping yourself busy, so that’s a good thing.

    Shake yer booty and all that!

  6. Parenthesis Says:

    Latin dance aerobics, eh? Is a Lycra leotard compulsory? πŸ˜‰

  7. thegnukid Says:

    dolce – …and don’t forget wearing the little vest and shriner hat… those monkeys have to be dressed for the occasion as well…

    stephanie – i think it’s a wny law… “…no unnecessary bootie shake-age allowed, even for the purpose of exercise…” or some such nonsense

    kyknoord – sounds like a job for an engineer… what are your rates?

    rob – thanks for the “pip pip” and all that rot… will do, chum.

    le – hanging in for now… it’ll be a roller coaster. i feel like i’m still on that first steep hill going up, but have no clue when the ‘big drop’ will be.

    parenthesis – oh, more than that… it has to be a faux leopard print and at least a size too small

  8. daisyfae Says:

    it took about a year on my own before i got to really like being alone. not just tolerate, but like being on my own. granted, it was much easier to do the transition because i kept the ol’ family homestead. but once the kids were gone? i was on fire to get out and get my own place – which is in the works!

    one word: patience

  9. leavingevangeline Says:

    Hey Gnu, though I doth detest roller coasters…I do know that the best part is right after the drop and you start heading up the next hill…the exhilaration is awesome.

    Gawd I’m a dork….maybe you and I should team up on some cheese ball songs. We’d make a fortune.

  10. thegnukid Says:

    daisyfae – well, dammit, i want that patience and i want it NOW!!! but, yeah, i know it’ll be a journey. but i’m ready for the adventure of that journey. very ready.

    le – i love cheese! i’m with ya. “exhiliration” isn’t where i’m at now, but i’m fully expecting to feel that at some point.

  11. leavingevangeline Says:


  12. silverstar98121 Says:

    It does get better. Honest. Meanwhile, you have the right idea, just keep busy. And find you a place with a kitchen, or at least a microwave soon so you can have Lean Cuisine instead of Mickey D’s. And I want to see that leotard next T-shirt Friday.

  13. Parenthesis Says:

    Man, but you know how to get a girl all excited. Can we see pictures please? πŸ˜‰

  14. thegnukid Says:

    le – i’ll bring the whine… ummm… wine… a delightful merlot, maybe? no, you seem like a sauvignon kind of girl

    silverstar – working on the kitchen thing. may turn that one on its side and move back into still-my-house until i can find a place. no sense spending bucks on seedy motels when you’re all alone… ;-> and i’m thinking the Ohio Bureau of Optical Decency will decline me the right to take a picture… (but i’ll work on it)…

    parenthesis – whoa! my bluff was called… now i have to go off shopping to find one. until then, i’ll work on a picture wearing my “Mr. Bubbles” boxer shorts, okay?

  15. Parenthesis Says:

    So long as its not a Speedo …. πŸ˜‰

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