We interrupt the whimsical, comedic hit soap opera which normally airs at this time to bring you this serious news update to our Assassin Squirrel story – –
The Assassin Squirrel scourge is, unfortunately, still with us. However, an elite Homeland Security organization is taking steps to track down these furry terrorists and dispatch them. With swift and lethal action, this team is ensuring our safety and future livelihoods. God bless them…
The self-declared evil leadership responsible for the legion of Assassin Squirrels, purported to go by “UK”, could not be reached for comment.
We will keep you apprised of further updates to this important, serious news story.
…and now, back to the comedic stylings of GnuKid’s popular “Life’s Soap Opera”…
Tags: assassin squirrels, death to all squirrels, g.i. joe, Humor, soap opera interruption
The Wilds of Ohio 
July 24, 2008 at 07:14 |
(sigh) Gawd, i love a
plastichard-bodied man in uniform! My he-ro!July 24, 2008 at 07:20 |
I do hope that squirrel is acting!
July 24, 2008 at 07:48 |
We can all sleep easier knowing that the experts are on the job.
July 24, 2008 at 08:15 |
Once again, so very glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read this.
July 24, 2008 at 08:16 |
P.S.
Your link to the original Squirrel Assassin is comin’ up 404
July 24, 2008 at 09:43 |
I am a squirrel advocate, so you will get nary a negative word about the critters from me!
Have you ever considered that the Assassin Squirrels might just be protecting what is theirs? Their homes, families and jobs? Their right to gather nuts, randomly throw themselves in front of cars, tease canines and dodge felines?
Squirrels are people too! Viva la Squirrels!
July 24, 2008 at 15:34 |
Yes, leavingevangeline, along with carrying fleas that harbor plague, and various other nasties. Of course, the people in my building think they are cute, and like to put nuts out for them. So much so that the building next door moved the fence where they put them back about four feet and put boulders in front of it so they couldn’t get to it. I don’t care how cute they are, they are still rodents.
And I don’t know whether to say this thread is squirrely or nutty.
July 24, 2008 at 15:47 |
Silverstar98121, maybe your neighbors should round them up, give them flea baths, shots for disease, and move them into your building. They could feast on silver platters of peanuts and pecans.
Da man always tryin’ to keep da squirrel down!
BTW- everything I wrote was tongue in cheek. Although, it’s never as funny when I have to say that.
😦
And…I still like squirrels. They are adorable little disease carrying, flea infested varmints!
July 24, 2008 at 18:23 |
daisyfae – shall i have them make a house call? i can arrange that. the perfect man… doesn’t talk back, looks good, pliable in your hands, yet hard…
dolce – shhhh… he was only drunk… we needed the picture to make it look like we’re actually doing something. but, guess all we’re doing is getting squirrels drunk.
kyknoord – ooo, oops… ignore what i said to dolce… yes, by gawd, we’re eliminating the menace! yeah… that’s it….
stopbouncing – ooo, coffee this time. i’ll be intrigued to hear what the next foodstuff i can get to threaten to flee your mouth.. or, better, nose! (and thanks for the broken link tip…fixed)
le – yeah, okay, squirrels are people too… and just how there are some people that need to quietly disappear, so too the squirrels. oh, and squirrels make good eatin’…. [evil grin]
silverstar – squirrels still go for peanuts even when coated with cyanide…
le & silverstar – girls… girls… let’s stop arguing here… i have a swimming pool full of jello out back and some loose fitting bikinis for you to wear and you can fight it out… let me just get my camera first… ;->
July 24, 2008 at 20:50 |
Loose-fitting bikinis? Jello pool? Honey, the stuff I got flops around enough as it is without a loose-fitting bikini in the middle of a jello pool.
July 24, 2008 at 21:41 |
I’ll take you up on the Jello! Only if I can get some Cool Whip on top.
July 25, 2008 at 07:12 |
silverstar – eye of the beholder, dear… eye of the beholder…
le – Cool Whip it is… fluffy and tasty…
July 25, 2008 at 14:56 |
You may think you’ve foiled me, sir, but I am as inexorable as water seeking a low spot. A dark day is brewing for humanity!!!
July 25, 2008 at 17:46 |
UK – “Fie!” on you, sirrah. whether your next minions be flea infested gerbils or gerbil infested fleas, the forces of good will prevail. we stand ready… ooo, wait… ‘Three’s Company’ is on…. we love that show… don’t do anything evil until we get back…