Spell Checker

In our society of computer based living, we have come to rely on the honestly impressive breadth and scope of tools and capabilities of those computers. One such tool is the Spell Checker.

Included in most every application involving input of words—from e-mail to word processing—it serves as a virtual 3rd grade teacher, perched over your shoulder as you laboriously scrape your #2 pencil across cheap paper with wood chunks still embedded in the fiber, urging you to correctly spell the words.

It keeps us honest.

It keeps us from making a fool of ourselves.

It is illusion.

Many of you already know this, having experienced…and often suffered from…that illusion. For those who have, take comfort in the misery that company shares. For those lucky few who have not, view this as a cautionary tale. For all, I hope you find the humor in this story and can add a smile to your day.

The backdrop – – – I am an amateur thespian…yes, I love women! Oh…wait…ummm, I’m an actor. My theater group recently moved to a new home, via an expensive reconstruction of an old supermarket. Obviously, a community theater does not have money. So, there were numerous money raising endeavors to garner the needed cash.

Aside from the continuing thanks of this community theater, there was a more permanent reminder of that support in the form of a plaque prominently placed in the foyer of the new theater. To specially thank those who contributed a bit more, there were separate categories to recognize the extent of those donations. Staying in the theater theme, the categories were named with theater nomenclature. So we had categories for – – –

Ensemble Cast

Supporting Cast

Staring Role



As I input the words on this list, my word processing spell checker happily reviewed my typing and declared it correct. Just as it likely did for whoever sent the request to the plaque maker. The plaque maker, eager to meet customer needs, then built the plaque exactly as the request was typed.

So, for those patrons who contributed enough to qualify for that category, I have no clue if they will forever be known as such. I was not so generous to qualify for that level. But, honestly, I don’t want to be remembered as having a “Staring Role”.

Sew, ewe mite still knead two use Spell Checker. Butt, watt dew ewe half too loose? Yule bee glad ewe due.


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11 Responses to “Spell Checker”

  1. Rob Says:

    You might not know it from my lame posts and comments, but I’ve always been anal-retentive when it comes to correct spelling.

    The thing I hate about spell checkers is that they confirm you’ve spelled the word correctly but they don’t tell people when they’ve used the wrong f***ing word.

    Biggest pet peeve where I work: People who use “your” when they mean the contraction of “you are”, which is spelled “you’re”.

    I know. I know. I’m trying to let it go. I’ve even found – to my horror – that I have sent e-mails with missed words (pretty much nothing mis-spelled ever leaves my inbox) but no spell checker is going to tell me that I’ve forgotten to type a frigging word.

    Rant Off


  2. kyknoord Says:

    Well it is theatre – a staring role kind of makes sense for audience members.

  3. silverstar98121 Says:

    dew, do, due, too, to two. Why can’t people get it right nowadays. Maybe for the same reason they don’t know what 12×12 is. They have capitulated to the electronic gods, who can do no wrong (yeah, right.)

    I keep reminding people that computers are stupid, they can only do what they are told. As the old saying goes, “Garbage in, Garbage out.”

  4. silverstar98121 Says:

    Grammar police!!!! I missed a question mark. Where are the editing capabilities?

  5. thegnukid Says:

    Rob – Wow! I certainly hit a hot topic there for you, huh? Actually, the “your vs. you’re” bothers me some too. Maybe it was having it beaten into me as a child.

    kyknoord – Damn you and your logic. Now I have to rewrite the entire piece. [laughin’] Actually, I’ve had the horror of being in a comedy where the audience did just that–stared. No laughter. Very uncomfortable.

    silverstar – Well…duh…12×12 is a large piece of wood used in long lengths as a structure beam. [wink]

    silverstar (part deux) – Actually, I thought it was a declarative statement, not a question. I’ll hide you from the police, dear, no worries.

  6. daisyfae Says:

    i’ve got a million peevish things on this topic, and i think you included many in your final sentence! MOST annoying? “Bussing” instead of “Busing”… i remember a high school english teacher cured me of the dreaded “double S”. Told a story of a photo in Time Magazine, where this gnarly, toothless, meatball-shaped woman was holding a sign that said “I am against forced bussing”. His response? “Honey, you don’t have to worrry about it!”

  7. anniegirl1138 Says:

    I have no spelling gene and thank the powers daily that Bill Gates stole that idea daily, but it doesn’t prevent me from dropping my words, thinking faster than I can type or using “effect” when I meant “affect”. For this I have an AR Virgo husband (though he hates it when I refer to him as my beta reader. It’s an alpha thing.)

  8. thegnukid Says:

    daisyfae – Does the same apply for “fussing for fusing”? Or “mussing with musing”? Great story, though on the difference between forced transportation and plain ol’ kissing. I’m sure to never forget again, with that story

    anniegirl – Is that why you chose him for your husband? To be your beta reader? If so, best to make sure he is AR…[laughin’] I’m betting he secretly enjoys it…Rob?

  9. Rob Says:

    Hmmm. I had to check Wikipedia and found this:

    Common usage

    Conversationally, the term is often used to describe a person deemed to be overly obsessed with minor details. Its roots are said to be from the theories of Sigmund Freud.

    The term is often used in a colloquial, derogatory sense to describe a person with such attention to detail that the obsession becomes an annoyance to others, and can be carried out to the detriment of the anal-retentive person.

    Although I self-deprecatingly referred to myself as such in my previous comment, my lovely bride has decided to pick up and propagate the idea. Since I couldn’t think of another, more favourable acronym expansion for AR, I will have to simply say that I am blessed with reasonable proof reading and editing skills and I categorically deny that I am, in fact, anal-retentive.

    As to why she married me, a clue to the answer to that question might be found in a comment I left on a recent blog piece at gimcrack hospital.

  10. anniegirl1138 Says:

    There is much to be said for a man who pays close attention to detail too.

  11. thegnukid Says:

    Rob and Annie – Get a room! Oh…wait… [blush]… ;->

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